Sunday, 13 January 2013

Crack Fox.

I think I might live near one of the following things:
•A vampire (a mashed up screeching zombie like one)
•A crow.
•A child possessed by a demon.
•A sound effects technician.
•An animal that finds itself suffocating on a regular basis.

Every once in a while I hear this noise from outside my window. It sounds like all of the above. My double glazed window is shut, yet this screeching/belching sound penetrates to the extent that it sounds incredibly shrill and piercing.

Now, anyone that's seen Salem's Lot knows what happens when you look out of your window at night.
Your recently deceased vampire brother hypnotises you and kills you and sires you into one of the undead minions of Nosferatu. So fuck that!

But yeah, that sound happens and as a matter of fact, it just occurred prior to me writing this. One thing I can see outside is my neighbours' trampoline. 

Once, in the warmer summer evenings when I'd have my window ajar, I heard the clattering of the material, followed by a thud. Followed by the clattering of the material, some scuffling around. Followed by a thud. This was really odd sounding and late at night - we're talking 2-3am so no kids playing outdoors. I look out of my window and there's a fox rummaging around my neighbours' enclosed trampoline, trying to get out. The more he struggled, the more he'd bounce. He was whacking his head against the protective netting around the trampoline and the elasticity of it caused him to skimper backwards, roll over and bounce back on all fours. Poor thing actually looked quite distressed. I was considering getting up when suddenly he managed to find the hole in the netting, and as if expecting resistance bounded his head trough the gap and summersaulted inelegantly out of the enclosed trampoline and into the neighbours garden. He then immediately went on to bash his head straight into the neighbours fence, turn around and run STRAIGHT BACK INTO THE TRAMPOLINE!!!!!!

That pissed me off.

He carried on doing that for a long part of the night.

Notice how I assumed the fox was male? I dunno- even with how much the fox annoyed me, I kinda dislike girls right now... I wouldn't even call the retarded fuckwit brainless head bashing fox a girl.
Right now, girls are Nazis.
Girls are racist paedophiles.
Girls are the opposite of Batman.

Ah, only that damn girl would understand that I'm referencing Community.

Ah I was in such a good mood writing this as well. Fuxxor....

Going back to that sound I mentioned at the start of this post- it sounds crazily demonic. I've been out to a sheesha place where a group of fully grown men are discussing their beliefs re: possession and their "personal" experiences of it. It's really interesting to hear their views. I suppose I grew up with a very analytical approach to things. While I'm religious- I accept that morality can't be dictated by humans, our perspective is just too narrow and as such, the idea that we should govern by man made rules is scary(+the idea that we came about out of random nothingness- that's replacing the, I'll admit, rather out there notion of a deity, with the ridiculous theory that contradicts itself). 
But while, yes I'm religious, I never gave much thought to the more.... Spiritual aspects of beliefs. Things like Jinns and possessions and dark juujuu (mighty boosh).

But these guys!!!
They explained the things I mustn't do. Like go out at night. And cross rivers. Wee on trees. Something about gutters. But yeah- very surreal experience. Confounded by this video:

Make of it what you will...
Prank? Real?! Who knows...

And what a strange topic for my return to writing...?! But anyway: hope you enjoyed this.

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