Thursday, 25 March 2010

With just < 20% power left in this iPhone, let's see how far I can get in this post. I was working in a really old library today. Gave me an odd sense of nostalgia for my primary school. Wood floor, yellow painted brick Walls. Basements and their strange smells and those really old, really thick radiators that you'd have at the back of classrooms and you could lean back on in winter. The ones that are all rounded at the top. I'm all for modern libraries and at points I was nodding off from boredom but there was something about the library, perhaps the smell of books for a change (unlike the smell of a newer, refurbished library like Stratford, for instance) that was really nice.

I wouldn't like to go back though it's allure is short lived. It serves as a good memory...

So yes, I just wanted to post this since I feel my blogging has been sporradic (sp?) and insufficient. Also I do hope you checked out my brother's blog I saw pictures of lemon mirangue pie. He's also done a post on how to make rice which I think is fantastic. He always makes great, fluffy rice without leaving any burnt on the edges...

So go visit!! And enjoy your Easter holidays that I think should be coming up!! Ciao!

Sunday, 21 March 2010

Food you like? Foodmelike !!!

This here is another iPhone post so forgive the briefness of it.

My brother visited the site today. Wasn't happy with the contents. Thus I shall swear less. Who gives a juck about swearing and phit anyway?? Bad words are for jucking bunts anyway. It's uncool and ultimately leaves you looking like a pritt... Stick.

On a completely unrelated matter, I got the idea to make a blog many, many months after my brother and to show him some love, I thought I'd ask some of you dudes to check out his blog? You can visit it at

I think. I'll double check that some time soon.

But a brief synopsis of the blog??

Use your imagination... It's a food blog.

Loads of recipies on it, lots of easy to follow instructions illustrated wonderfully with photos of his endeavours. I think there's even a mock instructional video featuring both my brother and sister. Worth a watch.

Tell me what happens in it please. :)

I kid! I've visited his blog loads. And it's actually really good. Puts this shambolic excuse for self gratification to shame... I think his spellings a little better than mine...

So that's

check it out, cook, eat, drink, be merry.

Honestly typing on this chitty piece of jucking dog furd is vloody bullwhit!!!

Go try for yourselves. And visit that blog. Night!

Saturday, 20 March 2010

God, I can't believe bt managed to screw up so badly again! One month without the net at home. This sucks.

I can at least surf at work right? Wrong. Work usage is monitored. Also sucks. so here I am, resorting to flipping iPhone Internet. Which is slow on 3g instead of wifi.

But work is good!! So that's a plus. And I have my maths lessons coming up which is worrying because I'm always shit-knackered after work.

I started at east ham. Which was strange since commuting meant going through green street and having to deal with all that rush and school kids and smells and lame memories of that crappy street and it's stupid sweet corn in a cup vendors. But the place itself was nice, if not a litle alien. Since then though, I've moved to canning town! Which is like a walk away from my old appartment!! In a month or two I'm gonna have to look into finding a place again. With a garage for my motorbike!!

Oh hell yeah am I getting one.

But perhaps I'll look into some sort o finance manager to prevent a relapse of my last moving out fiasco...

I'm geting sore thumbs with this tiny screen so I'm gonna leave it here!! It's nearly my bed time!! :-O

Go enjoy your days!! Live long and prosper but if you're gonna watch a nerdy sci fi movie, make it star wars and not star trek. Seriously people, standards!!

Thursday, 11 March 2010

Dr. Something something, Qadri

This is in response to an article I read today.

It is regarding a press conference held by Dr. Tahir Ul Qadri regarding the actions of suicide bombers and militant's who act under the banner of Islam. I'm not going to copy and paste the whole text. It would be arduous to read through. I will however highlight points which take my interest.

If you wish to read the article, which summarizes his speech, you can find it here:'Terrorism-and-Suicide-Attacks'-the-Press-Conference-of-Dr.-Tahir-ul-Qadri.htm

There are a few issues I would like to voice about this text, however let me first make clear my stance on suicide bombing.

It is bad. It's really, really bad. It is bad for many reasons, ranging from the targets that are usually picked- civilians, it is bad because it is suicide, which in my religion is forbidden. It is bad because it demonstrates the level of disparity that a person has dropped to, that they would sacrifice their own life in such a way. It is an expression of such dire destitution and highlights the terror that people must live through that would lead them to undertake such a terrible action.

I would also like to say that while what the good doctor is saying is based undoubtedly on years of teaching and studying and from various sources, my humble OPINION is based solely on what I have seen as a spectator and a very basic understanding of my religion, passed on to me from my parents. I'd also like to think my morality and judgement play a part in what I say and that I'm commentating on this tender subject with as much empathy as I have.

As much of Dr. Qadri's speech comes, I'm sure, from direct Islamic scripture, there will be claims to which we both agree. I feel a "disagreement in the context in which the Quran and Sunnah were received" is a rather arbitrary excuse for our differences in opinion.
The modern world is a conglomeration of systems, laws and cultures which either coincide or clash with one another and form a sort of patchwork global community. Politics, economy and religion are just a minute handful of factors that lay weight to a given issue and a ruling such as the one proposed by Dr. Qadri can have implications on all of these issues and certainly, many others. Reciprocally though, our beliefs and judgement will vary because of these very things. His opinions, based around his position in Pakistani government, possibly his job, his background and his culture. Similarly all these factors will invariably have had an impact on MY opinions too.
  I rather fortunately, do not have the pressure of a government, media lobbies and an Islamic association behind me or coercing me to say any one thing or another. And I'm not explicitly saying that he has either...

But he might.

As I said though, there are undoubtedly things to which we both agree. The Oneness of Allah, the fact that the Prophet Mohammed was his last Messenger, that after him, there would be no other messenger of Allah. And then things more related to the issue at hand. As I said earlier, I agree that suicide bombing is abhorrent.

Be that as it may, I probably hold the same similarities with MOST muslims. That's a given. We aren't a pack of monsters. Most people would be aware of that, those who aren't, simply need to meet some Muslims. Preferably not the ones who reside in East London. Perhaps not the best caliber of Muslim given that we generally have whacked out haricuts, walk like limping twats and drive cars with tinted windows rolled down with the volume boomed up. This alone is enough to intimidate any rational person and, given the kind of music they blare out, could be considered ear rape- a form of terrorism.

But forgive the average teenage boy in East London. And look to perhaps those of the Muslim faith who actually practice their religion actively and prioritize it above all else and you'll find them to be wonderful people.

I say this because it would appear that Dr. Qadri's speech is designed for two purposes. One, to ensure the world of non muslims that muslims are peace loving people. And secondly to remind the muslims that they are peace loving people.

Now, to point out some issues I have with his speech...
Firstly, is he wearing a gold watch? Just a question. It has a golden tinge to it, though the youtube video isn't very clear.

Ok, I've pointed that out, so I'll get to some of the points he made. I'd like to highlight his insistence of using democracy as a way to resolve issues in Pakistan. I am all for democracy, I like it, I think it's wonderful. But then, I feel the same about pre-marital sex. Because I am not a great Muslim.

I do however, take issue with a person who is a "great Muslim", making statements which contradict the teachings of Islam. If a person does something bad, that's one thing. But to do something bad under the banner of Islam, that's another. And that's the message he's promoting, in essence. Do not do bad acts-suicide bombing- under the banned of Islam. Contrastingly though, he promotes an ideology that contradicts Islamic teaching- democracy- under the pretense that it is Islamic.

Now I say this, for you non-muslims who may be reading, because of this firm principle I hold. Hold your blazing pitchforks, I don't dislike democracy...

If you follow a religion, like Islam for instance, and your God has given you a set way to go about your life, (to go about governing a state, for example) then those should be the principals you uphold beyond any others. If you're in a position where you preach about Islam, then surely you should preach about Islam exactly as it is, not change or adjust any of it to suit the rest of the world. That is religion. It is the word of God, be it Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, Islam, each faith holds firm to the notion that the word of God is infallible.

Vis a vis, if Allah says there is a set way in which you should govern a state, have one leader, not elected by the general population through a vote but based on his Islamic knowledge and credentials as a trustworthy person, then that should be taken as the correct way. Regardless of how much better democracy may seem to people, FAITH means to trust in God and believe that we aren't omnipotent and his way is better, be it that we can see it or not.

The dear doctor goes on to explain what is lawful in war and when war is permissible in Islam.

But that's a whole other basket of eggs and it's like... 4.30 in the morning man! I'm not awake enough for this any more. Maybe some more tomorrow, or when I get the net back. Just to say though, this one was for you Mr. Fiesta driver... you've been asking for one for so long.

Now go do some work, you've had a long enough break!!

Drunken Madness!!

Ah! Internet! And on a laptop too! Flipping hell this feels great! Although it's BLOODY slow (mobile broadband... what you gonna do, huh?) it's a hell of a lot better than what I've had to make do with of late...

The w890i. Not a phone designed primarily for internet use. In fact the w stands for walkman. It's from THAT era...

Dear God...

I took my sister's iPhone without asking. When she wanted it back, she angrily took it away from me. Unfortunately my blog was still logged on. So she wrote a post in which she pretended to be me. The post consisted mainly of "Me" saying Why am I such a thief?

I take this opportunity to say, you're a muppet, Aapie.

I was on the bus home from an evening of Sheesha with some mates tonight. Sat at the back on the bus, trying to connect to Facebook on that crappy thing, when two fat drunk girls came blundering across the passage way towards me. They inspected me, one on the phone to her boyfriend, one emptying the contents of a can of Boost rather ineloquently into her gaping mouth. I tried to pay them as little notice as I could though they were blaring at one another and the boy unfortunate enough to be a significant other to one of these girls.

"Why you got me on loudspeaker" the slightly fatter one said into her phone.
The other one chirped in something too though my frustration at my phone had more of my attention at this point.

A moment later, the one on the phone leans over to her friend and says:
"Listen to his laugh" while trying to hold back a giggle.
She puts her phone on loudspeaker too and begins to say:
"Hey listen to this joke,"
The bloke waits for a joke.

It's at this point the girl realizes she has no joke to say.
"She falters, looks back at me to see if I've registered her stupidity; I politely smile. Her friend looks at me also.

"What do you call a muslim with no home?"

Seriously?! In some sort of knee jerk reaction she's insulting my faith now..

Well, I don't know how this is an insult... Since the punch line she slurs out of her flabber encrusted face is "Ali".

I'm more confused than insulted at this point and when she turns around to look at me, her face somehow grotesquely contorted into some sort of mischievous grin, I simply stare blankly at her.

I reiterate, both girls DID appear quite drunk (though both were only drinking Boost, a non alcoholic beverage boasting it's ability to stimulate and energize- though each of these girls had more than enough fuel in their fat arses to live off for... well a long time) and for this reason I'm assuming she wasn't aware immediately how offensive she'd POSSIBLY been. She was actually, just pretty dumb.

When the joke didn't get a laugh from her boyfriend- thus making her venture to make fun of his laugh an epic fail- she went into some sort of apologetic over-drive where she explained that her Mozlim boyfriend told her the joke. Her friend, also explained that she had TWO mozlim boyfriends and another guy who was a mozlim that she broke up with today... And they all loved the joke..

So the joke was okay.

Only... Damn it was funny to watch them squirm in their own idiocy.

I came across a perfect term to describe what they did. It's called self-defication. look it up on urban dictionary.

Ah, I have to get back into the swing of this, I really don't think I can go on typing anymore. So I'll leave it at this for now. BT come over tomorrow to install our landline. Though the last three times we've had them try to come over they've ended up sending their engineers to a completely different part of London. Which is so lame. Invest in Tom Toms! Or Google Maps, for flips sake!

Okay, I'm done!! Go straighten your hair, put on your foundation, moisturize, take care of your lips, put on that bra that makes you feel like a lady and make sure you've got all your books in your bag.

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

iPhone post.

Ah that I have stooped to writing this note out on an iPhone.
What's been happening? Still no internet.. Ok. What else is worth talking about?

Nothing really.

I was on a bus for way, wAy too long today. I had to find this new building I'm gonna be working at come Monday. The 58 bus. I got off too early so had to jump on a second one. The first one stank of piss so, so badly. I had to breath from my mouth but it was so bad I could almost taste it. The second bus stank of shit.

It made me ready to get driving lessons. It pushed ne that far. God.

Things only got worse. The 300 bus. Damn. That bus is the most annoying bus ever. It goes everywhere. Which might sound good but when you're on a cramped up, stinky, slow bus, you just want to get from a to b. This bus gets you from east ham to beckton to building 1000 to at regents street to plaistow to canning town.




Anyway typing on this thing is a bitch and I kinda need the loo. Go watch arrested develpment. It's fantastic. And tell me which broadband provider I should use. Am veering toward o2..

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Recent stuff what's happened.

  • Lord Ashcroft being a non domicile, huh? What do we all think about that?! And the fact that the conservatives have given him a peerage? The fact that he claims not to be living in Britain most of his life so he doesn't have to pay any British Tax. He can however donate enormous sums of money to the conservative party.

  • That dude who was released at the age of 18 for killing a kid and is now back in prison for breaking the terms of his release, what do we think about that huh?? And the fact that the details are being kept from the public? What do you say?? (His name's Jon Venables, by the way)

  • The Earthquake in Chile that has impacted the lives of people as far away as Australia and Japan- what do we say to that huh? Relatively high amount of shit storms happening all over the world, take the tropical storm in Spain, flooding in France, Earthquake in Haiti and Chili, resulting Tsunami in Hawaii. Is the world being punished or just petulant? Could the rise in recent natural disasters be man made? Think Global warming, sucking out fossil fuels among other things.

  • The Serbian dude that has been charged with the massacre and genocide of Bosnian people. Why is the trial going to take so long? What punishment should be handed out if he's found guilty? What do you know about the situation in that part of the world? What about the reception of this news in the Western media? His portrayal? The amount of coverage it's getting? What about the politics behind it? Serbian coalition with Russia, who knows a thing about that?!? Or the Russian military action against the Chechens? 
Loads of stuff in the News now days. Go read it. Or watch it. Or listen to it. Or just comment on this blog. Ciao.

Tuesday, 2 March 2010


Ah how much I need to say before I get off this laptop and how little time I have to say it in... Firstly, yes, I'm borrowing my neighbor's internet again, I PROMISE I'll give it back to him once I'm done with it. In fact, we can share. Right now. Though he's an old geezer so probably already asleep. I'm simply helping him make the most out of his broadband package...

Ok, just got a letter from a company. Wexas. When I was working at O2 all those many, many, countless months ago.. They had this scheme where they had partnered with loads of companies in a way to cut out commission and save money, while at the same time reward their employees. It sucked. Instead of thinking: Oh sweet, I sold 30 phones today, I get X amount of money, it left workers thinking: Oh sweet! Spirit points!

Yes. They were called. Fricking. Spirit. Points.

Minus the fricking. What's worse, when I left in an impromptu way- I simply stopped turning up, they decided I wasn't allowed to claim any of my spirit points. So that was the equivalent of £1,500 in commission that I didn't get. Pissed. Anyway, my point is, another thing they let us do was sign up to this database of companies and get discounts and crap from them. So I signed up to this travel agent like company called Wexas. Which I now have come to know only deals with flipping first and business class flights, which... let's face it, on an O2 salary? Happens once every never. So, little use to me. I left the company alone although they keep sending me these amazing glossy catalogues which advertise all sorts of locations and make you want to just splash your life savings and go to... Random destinations. Very appealing. But anyway, the other day they just sent me an invitation to attend a seminar on how to dampen the blow of inheritance tax and also which investments are likely to pay off good dividends...

What has this got to do with a travel agent?!

Well, I bring you back to my point about all their packages being first/business class and that will give you an idea of their average clientele...

Rich people invited to a seminar on how to get richer. Plus there's a lunch. I'm already there.

Well then there's the annoying thing about letter. It's invited me to attend on the day of my ex's birthday. Which is all well and good, just a kooky coincidence, but recently....

My mum subscribes to two magazines: Khawateen, a ladies Urdu magazine and *&£@%%! which is also a ladies magazine which just happens to be the name of my Ex. The other day, she asked me to bring her magazines.

"But not the khawateen. Bring ONLY the *&£%%! please. I only really like that one."

And THEN, she sat me down next to her saying I need to speak more urdu.
"I mean, do you know what this word even means?" Pointing at the title of the magazine.

Come on....

Seriously!? I actually didn't know what the word meant. It means very clean. The utmost of purity. Untouched.

Well... Ha!

The there's the fact that some company called *&£@%%! is now advertising on my mum's favorite TV channel! Which is ALWAYS ON!
And my hands smell like Garlic!! And the smell won't wash off!!

Anyway, I'll live. Just loads of stupid reminders which are lame.
Oops, too much moping, I know you avid readers don't like that much but seriously, suck tenderly on my balls. Otherwise, if it displeases you so much, just skip a few lines. Sheesh...

Back to more cheerful things: A Facebook status today which.... Before I post it up, let me say, as of now SIX people have clicked LIKE on...

Things get baited, the boy gets rated, the girl gets hated.

I'm not sure if the grammar was quite like that, maybe boy was spelled with an i. Who knows? But anyway, this is an adage that's been sprung around a few times before but I never really thought about it 'til now. It's about how when a relationship gets outed, boys get kudos from their pals while girls seem to be the target of criticism. Which is SOOooOOOooo unfair.

Firstly, that so was a sarcastic one. It's hard to carry that across over text but I was hoping the exaggerated spelling and use of capitalization would help to carry it across.

Because: The problem with this whole situation is in the first part. Things get baited.
If you treat your relationship LIKE a dirty little secret and tell NONE of your friends, then it will come across as a dirty little secret when people find out about it! So if you don't want people to think: "Oh, what nasty thing was that girl hiding?" It's probably best to be a little open about these things. And guy's don't mind having people hear about their relationships, generally. And those that do are probably gay. Or playing you with someone else.

And if a guy gets rated for being with you, come on, take that as a compliment!!

Anyway, I'm done, go eat a grape. Just one, you greedy fool of a took!

Monday, 1 March 2010

Corporate Cock.

So I'm jacking a neighbor's wifi connection. But it's unsecured so... His/ her fault.
God, being at home without the internet is major suck-age. Time. Goes. So. Slowly.
This is like my dirty little fix for 15 minutes before I go down and pretend like I haven't been on the internet. Ahh! Guardian website!!!

Who's heard about that Serbian dude being tried for crimes against humanity, genocide and loads of other stuff because of all manner of evil thing's he's done to muslim Bosnians? Don't worry if you've missed it, the trials going to be carrying on for at least two years... By the time they've decided to actually convict him of anything he'll probably have died of natural causes. . .

I don't suppose any of you KNOW what a cintiq is, let alone know about the newest version, right? Well, as some of you may know, you can get graphics tablets for PCs. Essentially drawing tablets that register the images you draw on the pad onto your monitor. Well, a company called Wacom makes some of the best around. Their better tablets are known as Intuous and they're pretty damn cool. But Cintiq. . .

Cintiq is a screen in itself that you can draw directly onto.
And not just a crappy touch screen monitor. This has pressure sensitivity; 2048 levels of pressure sensitivity to be precise. It's able to register pen strokes with a gram of pressure.
The tilt of the pen can impact how the brush stroke is registered on the screen, the back of the pen is an eraser. If that's not enough, you can create and color in freakin' robotic suits of armor!

Hell, I literally copied those points straight from this video, check it out. It made me sort of squeal...

Actually, no I won't because I can't find the code to embed the video. Sucks.
Youtube it if it's got you all hot and flustered.

... Sheesh it's just a graphics tablet....

What else? The winter Olympics. Are over.

Flew by, huh? Anyone even pay any attention to them?
Damn man, if that's how quickly Olympic events come and go, has this whole hurrah about 2012 been worth it? Probably not, I AM however, looking forward to the aquatic center that's being built in Stratford. It's been designed by Zaha Hadid who is just an awesome architect. I mean COME ON, it's shaped like a WHALE!!! :O

I read a piece about Zaha Hadid in... The Guardian... I think... a few months back, and the article made me a little skeptical about her. Brought up as a rich girl with the freedom to do what she wanted where she wanted. Actually, I still feel the same about her, but I mean her work is just amazing.

Zaha Hadid and Norman Foster. Two awesome designers. Foster designed the Swiss RE building in London. You know, the Gherkin? The condom as someone named it last week or, as my brother said to me a few months after its construction, something that will stay with me forever:
"the corporate cock that rapes the London skyline".

I assume he wasn't too fond of it. I am though. I think the building looks fantastic and the view from the top... Phwoar. And the design elements! From the passive cooling using convection to the triangulated structure of it's perimeter... Wikipedia is so cool.

Anyway, my time here is up. I'll leave you to comment as you see fit. Ciao.