Thursday, 29 April 2010

My shortie.

I came home today from my adventurous day of shopping (and what a day it was) to check out my blog. An all-year high number of comments possibly!? Well, let's keep up the good work people-it's nice to get some two way stuff going here...

Ah, my day. Actually, on to that whole two way thing, here's a fun tool I'd like some of you to use and post up your results.

It's basically a tool which asks you a series of questions and based on your answers about a range of topics, will give you a synopsis of which way you sway politically. Try to be as honest as you can, please- after all, it's answers are only going to be as accurate as you are honest.
So here's the link:


And in the comment sections, just post your percentages. If you have five minutes to spare.
As for my results:
Liberal Democrats: 70%

Green Party: 65%

Labour Party: 59%

Conservative Party: 19%
I only selected these four as parties I would EVER consider voting for.
Now, to my day! It all began with a beam of light, bursting through the cracks of my blinds. What misery I was expecting to behold as the weather had been forecast to be dreary and woefull. But hark! Twas not a cloud in the sky, nay- the birds sang and the sun shone. Ever so brightly, my eyes did but yearn to be under my covers once more!
Ok enough with that olde English. So basically, nice day, was expecting crappy weather so suddenly, I felt annoyed that I agreed to help my dad with his house refurbishment plans- yes he's worked up some new sort of house work that needs doing. This time it's the roof. Although I'm too afraid to climb that high- I offer moral support and light refreshing banter from the foot of the ladder.
But today was too nice a day to be spent cooped up working. I decided to go out.
First stop- food for my dad. And at the shop the dude was playing an indian song on the radio.
Now, I'm not one for indian songs, I think they're rubbish generally but this one...
Perhaps it was the crackle on the radio that was so akin to the sound quality found in Pakistan, maybe it was the song itself, reminding me of the one indian film I've watched in ages, but whatever it was, just sent me RIGHT back into those mountain ranges if Kashmir, with the cassettes we'd listen to on our long road trips or journeys to the Dam. I really, REALLY missed Pakistan today.
And I've googled the song now. And the quality is too good. Doesn't sound as nostalgic.
So that was a nice sort of start to the day.
I decided to meet an old buddie for food but got into central london WAY too early. I spent loads of time in Tottenham Court Road. Went around all the computer shops. Decided I'd buy Windows 7. Never buy computer stuff form shops. Always buy online. You'll save abour 20% generally. From what I've found. So generally, the labels were showing that 7 was going to cost me 150 quid. Online in fact, the first site I've come across sells it for 89(ex VAT) pounds.
So maybe it was the burst of Pakistani culture I had earlier in the day, I decided, since all these places were going to try and rip me off, I'd barter with them and get the best price out of them. After bouncing between two of the lowest priced shops, I managed to get fifty quid knocked off and walked out of the shop with it for a hundred. =)
Really had loads of time ot kill.
And then.
And I've been struggling as to wether I should put this up here...
And then. I did the ultimate Evil.
You see, after the shopping excursion I took a break, went to a starbucks that's straight under the massive Center Point building there and had my frappe upstairs on the comfy sofas.
Went out of the shop, walked towards a furniture shop and noticed that quite a distance from me there was a little person. A dwarf? A Midget? I confuse the terms. I think one might be offensive. But nevermind the small details, I go ahead to do something far, far worse.
So me, being the nice person I am, decide, it's REALLY rude to stare, so don't do it. I look EVERYWHERE but at the small person. I notice that one or two of the people between myself and the dwarf are staring at him and I think, HAH! You rude people, come on, have some common decency...
I continue to look everywhere but at the small man. ON the road, at some shops, at the far distance.
Well, you see, when you're not looking at something or someone, there's a possibility you might- ESPECIALLY when this is regarding foreshortened people-well.... walk INTO them.
And you see... This kinda happened. Only.
Well, my reflexes are almost too fast for my own good because just in the nick of time I noticed there was the small person about to meet my crotch head first and well... I kinda...
I jumped over him...
I... Well... Yes.
And I appologised. But I've noticed that shorter people aren't very happy people. He kinda grumbled something and walked off..
I would like to take this oppertunity to appologise for my behaviour. I'm so so so sorry. I didn't mean to.
If any short people are reading this, I really didn't mean to offend him or you.
Anyway, I almost got coerced into buying a set of sunglasses from selfridges. Instead I decided not to and bought some trainers instead. And I stumbled into the nicest clothes store ever on Oxford circus. It's called Mash and I've NEVER been in it before. Sooooo many nice clothes. Awesome. I bought a tee shirt with a set of giant heaphones printed on it. Twas very nice.
Anyway, other than that, usual stuff, REALLY nice food at wagamama's and had a fun stroll through Selfridges with April!
That's enough humiliation in my blog post for one day. I'm out.
Enjoy the weather. HAH!

CoD MW2.

Guys, you know what I'm talking about. Girls, it's the bane of all of your desires to keep your guys interested on the phone. Call of Duty. Modern Warfare. 2.


A little late, I know- it came out months and months ago, but I haven't even had my XBox at home for a while. So having recently snatched it back from a mate, I've gone a little crazy and spent half my pay on a gazzillion games. So far, I've clocked Batman- Arkham Asylum, quite understandably the Game of the Year. So amazing, it'll make you squeal with joy. Many times.


Probably not. Because I'm just a Batman geek. A Mucho Batman Geek. I know all there is to know about him. And yet, I still have game with the girls. It's insane.
I've actually met a comic book buddy at work who's totally into his Marvel. More than DC, which I personally prefere.

None of you know what I'm talking about, right?

Well, let's go right back to the beginning...

Actually, let's not, even I'm bored half to death with this comic talk already.
But seriously, modern warfare 2. Phwaor.

My sister's gone to visit my OTHER sister and she's left me with her mobile broadband USB thing. Yes people, STILL no BT line. Fuckers. I had a PROPER go at them on the phone, going from manager to manager to manager. I'm good at that. I ended up getting 3 months off my line rental. Which is alright. I think. But seriously, they've kept us waiting from Febuary. It's SO uncool.

So as it stands, no net at home, aside from this MobileBroadband thing. Which has a 3gb usage allowance. Since my sister's gone away, I've caught up with all the How I met your mother episodes I've missed these past 4 months- because we got rid of Virgin BEFORE we applied to BT- I've updated my blog, I've Facedbooked like a Facebook whore getting paid by the minute, and I've more or less killed off her 3GB allowance.


But FINE people from around the world! Fret not, I'll be getting home broadband soon (INSHA ALLAH!!!!!!!!!!) and then I'll be posting all sorts of strange happenings about comics and games and all manner of fun things for your liking.

Do you ever get this feeling (which I'm getting about now) that you just HAVE to shop. There's NOTHING I need in the world right now, I'm not getting my bike for another month at least, I'm SUPPOSED to be saving for a deposit for my next appartment- I don't actually WANT anything, but I NEEEEEED to shop! It's insane in the membrain!!

Maybe some shoes.

Or boots.

Or trainers.

Or a football.

Or shin pads.

Or football socks.

Or Jeans.

Or trousers.

Or a shirt.

Or a few Tees.

Or a tie.

Or some pie. (yes we're in to the rhyming section...)

An mp3 player.

A Boxset of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

A Bathrobe.

A Wardrobe.

Some RAM for my computer.

A Book to read on my journeys as a commuter.

Or maybe I should just go watch a film?

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Body hair...

...It's God's cruel joke on the balding dude. Seriously, I have tonnes of the stuff everywhere I don't want it. But try to get my scalp to hang on to some of it... It's harder than watching Gordon Brown make a fool of himself on the telly without feeling a little bit bad for him.

Compounded by the fact that a dude who works with me, with what appears to be a more than ample head of hair came up to me recently and said, "Oh man, my hairs falling out, I'm gonna need to look up some hair-loss prevention shit".

And he says it with a straight face. While in MY company. Me, being a dude who practically has the golden arches on his forehead... Sheesh. I bring this up because I saw a dude on the street today who was incredibly bald but still decided to fight a losing battle and keep whatever hair he had left as long as he could. He looked rather silly. He was Asian of course. We revere hair for some reason. Once, while at O2, a woman went as far as seeing the hair on my arm and complimenting me for it. Saying it looked nice.

See it's times like that, when people make outlandish statements like either one of those above- i need to cure my absolutely unnoticeable balding/ I like your arm hair- that I get really on edge as to whether, these people are just playing a cruel trick on me. So I get straight into my overprotected mode and just be abrupt and polite.

Speaking of being polite, I'm a relatively well spoken person, I'm polite and tend not to use slang in a professional atmosphere. This served me well in O2 because the particular store I was in was in West London. I fitted in a little better with the clientele.

Now that I'm working in the East End of London. Deary me.

Deary, deary me. They're suspicious of me! They prefer it if I great them with, "Alright?" Or "aw-ryt" Or "Ello ello". Some, I'm sure would even appreciate the odd "Wattagwaanin?" Though I fear my pronunciation would be underwhelming and shambolic. It's a very nasal word. Say it to yourself; you'll see where I'm coming form...

Nasal, right?

And going RIGHT back to something I said at the start- Gordon Brown!? Sheesh, man! What a fool he made of himself today! If you haven't heard of it, you're a muppet. Or just not from England, possibly. Or just not that into politics. Well, basically, he had a talk with a woman, a general memeber of the public, walked away from her, got in his car and while a tape was recording his conversation with someone else (unbeknown to him) he said the interview was terrible and that the woman was a bigot!! And worse still, the woman was asked, immediately after his interview with her if she was to vote labour, and she said yes! And THEN they told her what he said about her in his car! OUCH! AND WORSE STILL!!! His reaction to listening to the secret recording was put on camera. Phwoar! Terrible, terrible day, Mr. Brown. I feel for him. But I'm annoyed at the fact that he's giving SO much ammunition to the Conservative Party.

And for those of you thinking of voting conservative, The Financial Times had an article out, either yesterday or the day before, telling of how the Tories are moving to get support from Nationalist Parties in the eventuality of a hung parliament....

I had a dude at work queuing up to see me and I could hear him tell his neighbor in the line how he was definitely going to be voting for the BNP...

But it is scary though, because I was coming home from work and got off at Stratford Station to see an anti-BNP rally by a few people. It was nice but I wanted to veer away from it because, well, I wanted to get home fast and not get distracted into talking to one of them. But then, as they were chanting that the BNP were racist, fascist and altogether, not nice people, a bunch of yobbish white men started shouting back at them, defending the BNP and insulting the rally-ers. Which was pretty messed up, given it's the area I practically live in. Not cool at all. So I had to show my support and signed the petition.

Vote Lib Dem people, PLEASE!

I bought a Barbie today. It's really nice, with loads of additional stuff that you can attach to it. While it's volumptious, one of the nice things is that it's still very sleek, elegant and stylish.

And it's a BBQ. Not a doll.

More from me, when I'm not quite so busy playing on my Xbox. Ciao.

Monday, 19 April 2010

iPhone post number...?

D'ya miss me? D'ya miss me?? Is that the reason you're Reading my blog daily?? Do ya? Do ya?? I miss you!! Which us why I keep wasting hours writing this damn thing... Bloody hell. So what's been happening with you lot? Any of you stranded in a distant land waiting to come home? Any of you rueing the day the volcano popped it's cherry because totally screwed your holiday plans up? That sucks. But you have looserballs to keep you occupied for a while.

I'm on an iPhone again. Getting cramps in the thumbs.

I rescind my comments about a new iPhone comin out. It probably will.
Apparantly someone found a new iPhone left at a bar in America. Crazy stuff. So I'm wanting one.

And an ipad.

And with that, having sold my soul to apple... I'm off to bed. Night kids.

Saturday, 17 April 2010

Volcanic eruptions, aeronautical disruptions

What should I do? I have a one and a half day weekend... And I had to sleep in the afternoon today. Headache. Sucky.

But there's been plenty going on in the world isn't there?! Elections coming up; go Nick Clegg!! Lib Dem peeps, check them out, vote for them, make this a better country.
Ah, and the volcano! But I'll get back to that in a second.

The day after I bigged up o2 for being a good company...

Dear god. On my way home from work, after a long, long day, dealing with what COULD be regarded as the dregs of society. I get a text from O2.
Your bill is due. Which reminds me I need to set up my direct debit with o2 again.

Say wha?!

So instantly my mind goes back to the blog post I wrote and I got a little annoyed.

One quick phone call though, is all it took for it to be clarified and even rectified. £20 credit on my bill and the issue was resolved in one quick bus journey home.

Speaking on the BUS journey....

My local bike shop is stocking the CBR 125R. Dear god. Dear LORD! It is a work of ART! A little small but I'm still a little intimidated by bigger bikes as it is. So it's alright. And only £1,500.
I jizz a little each time I think of it.

So yeah, back to that Volcano. Flipping hell! The ash comes out hot as hell. goes up like 6km and becomes like tiny shards of glass. Which is why the dust is so harmful for airplanes.
I heard a helicopter today. Which got me wondering if the pilot was being a little naughty...
Sorry if my sentences are a little lackluster at the moment, I'm watching "Wonders of the solar system" on BBC 4. A program about the solar system. Yet it's started about a mosque in Tunisia. Apparently the fourth most holy site in Islam. I didn't know that. :/

...The stuff you learn....

But the program is pretty awesome so forgive me.
Tunisia looks nice this time of year...

Anyway, yeah, this program's taken too much of my intention... Take care of yourselves.
Go watch some educational telly.

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Submit the damn thing, come on.

STILL no internet so forgive the infrequency with which this blog is updated. I try, I really do, but apparently they monitor our usage at work... I really, really hate BT. Enough to almost like Virgin. But... possibly not.

I got asked by a lady at work about all manner of phone related issues since she learned I used to work at o2. It was nice. Have I become indoctrinated by the O2 mantra of turning customers into fans and what not..? Am I an O2 fanboy now that I've worked for them? Possibly. I hated them while I worked for them, that's for sure. The higher ups, head office workers, smug in their white collar jobs and being in the company ranked in the top ten best places to work for in the UK. And then us. Blue collar workers on the shop floor. Illiterate, uneducated and unimportant leg workers. After all, if you don't have a degree, you can't read a spreadsheet...

Oooh, did I let a bit of my bitterness show? My annoyance at the unfounded impetus given to university students, most of whom would probably need to copy and paste some of my words into Google to understand what they mean..? Yeah, you've got a degree in advanced manicure giving from the university of nowhere. But you're still a dip shit.

But on the flip side, I know some bright people doing degrees at universities that get little or no recognition and it's so uncool. Though they get little sympathy from me, since even their "bad" institutions give them an immeasurable advantage over me. Which is lame.

But back to O2. I do like them. I think they're a good mobile provider, I think they are a smart company that has good products and really good customer services. Which is what's important to me.
Which is why, when I'm on my to/ home from work, I always come across this insanely annoying advert by Orange. I'll run through it with you:

Calling friends? Great.
Unlimited Calls? Great.
Any Questions?

Well... Actually, yeah. I have loads of questions. How many friends? What times can you make calls? Are your friends numbers only on orange? How much does it cost? What about when you're abroad? What about when they're abroad? What about voicemail charges?

Loads more but I'm tired.

I've been working with people who claim benefits a lot recently. It's been really interesting and has completely changed my view on what government spending should be for benefit seekers.

Again, too tired to really go into it in any detail at the moment but I'll say this much. Some people pay £1 a week on rent...

If you claim THAT much benefit, then it should be because you live in a way that £1 rent a week would be similarly pocket emptying to what a working person would find their rent to be.

By that. If I pay £500 a month on rent and that's a third of my monthly wage, then that 500 is going to impact how I live for the month.
If a person gets rent for a pound a month, comes by, gives me 50 quid and goes off without having to pay rent for a YEAR...

Wouldst that it were that easy though. They STILL have to complain about paying rent though. It's not enough that they pay less than... Well, very little.

Anyway, I'm out for now. Go play some Pro Evo.

Wednesday, 7 April 2010


So I've been watching the footie today. It's painful to watch at this moment in time. Especially given how well United started.
A few minutes left till... Well, let's stay optimistic. Though we only have ten men. And we're losing...

My heart is actually in my stomach. A win would have made my evening. And now a loss is pretty much going to ruin my day tomorrow. Damn.

Anyway, what's been up man, how you people doing?

You know what, I can't stomach writing this anymore... I'll see you on the flip side of the match...

Saturday, 3 April 2010

Hello again!!

So! It's been a while right? I've noticed that my visitor count has slowly and steadily been decreasing as my own frequency to update this shizzle has dipped. BUT! Fear not! I have a FOUR Friggin day weekend this week so I can comfortably blag (intentionally misspelled) on about stuff.
So! Indeed, though now that I'm getting back into the swing of things, I'm finding it pretty hard to write anything!!! EEK!

Ah, ACTUALLY, I'll ADVISE you people on stuff.

FIRSTLY! PLEASE! If you think a new iPhone is coming out, GOOD! I don't agree with you, but fine. Whatever. BUT! Please be aware of what 3G means (what it's an acronym for) and what it ACTUALLY MEANS!!! 3RD Generation applies to a NETWORK coverage, NOT just the iPhone. You'll notice that the SECOND iPhone was called 3G NOT the third, which is the 3GS.

So third generation applies to the name of the type of network that the iPhone 3G was able to connect to, which enabled it to connect to higher speed internet. So 3G is actually something offered by mobile NETWORK providers such as O2, Orange etc. etc.

SO!!!!!! DEAR GOD! SO!!!! When if APPLE Release a NEW iPhone, save for it coinciding with the release of a BRAND new type of network infrastructure that all mobile networks would have to adopt/ or Apple intentionally misleading the market with a poorly chosen name (which, lets face it, given the recent arrival of the i-tampon MAY actually be possible...) it will NOT be called an iPhone 4G...

Unless it is. Come on, who knows. It's apple, they could call it Fucker if they wanted to.

Another piece (oops, i before e) of advice I'd offer you- always pay off your bank charges.... :/

I won't go into tooooo much detail. But trust me. Always. Pay. Them. Off....


I'm wearing my spiffy new cufflinks from Tatty Devine today for the first time. It's a really cool place to shop if you want to buy some jewelry as a present for someone. It's online. Do a google search if you must.

My sister. Hah! My sister, right, just bought a new car. Its sitting outside in the road, it's new car gleen slowly wearing away under the heavy pelting of rain it's been receiving (I before E UNLESS after C) these last few days...
A NEW car. I don't understand her need to get one form new. She say's it's because it offers her piece of mind and runs better.

But she bought a Skoda....

I don't understand it ALL makes no sense... My head spins when I try to think about it so I'll stop.

What's new with you people? I understand I've been silent for a few days but some of you haven't commented in WEEKS!!!!!!
Uff! Enough to drive me to contemplating stop writing on this thing only to realize I do it MORE for me than I do it for you! It's a compulsion! Oh NOOO!!!!

I'm hooked. Damn.

Maybe Admitting it is half the battle.

LOL! I'm listening to Justin Timberlake's: Like I love you.
Classic line in the backing:

"I just love your..... BRAINS!!!!"


Ah, the weather is so sporadic, it's gone from being a beautiful sunny day with clear blue skies to having just one massive chunk of cloud pissing it town and now it's sunny again. Bloody northerly winds.

Darn you Scandinavia and your ice cold touch!!

Now titchy strider is rapping about his last detention on the telly. No really, what life experiences can a 16 year old boy have that he raps about?

On the note of annoying rapers. Jay Sean.

I'm sorry but isn't he just the male equivalent of Cheryl Cole? I mean the music is THAT bad.
I'm listening to a song that could only really be called "Bring it back"? I mean that's the words that pop out the most. Oh and Sean Paul is saying that's what I heard a few times too. Why is HE dancing in the water? Usually it's the women that writhe around in there for our pleasure. Why's he getting all up in that asian girls space??

Ah, Jay Z. Let's listen to some of the good stuff..
I love this song with Alicia Keys.

Let that be all for now, I'm all blogged out. It's either (E before I What the heck!? And there wasn't even a C!!) because I'm up early after a late night or just not that into you anymore...

Go have some Lindt. Yummmm!!