Thursday, 19 November 2009

Your a funny guy to bad about the rest of you, seriously you need to grow up

The book of love
is long and boring
And no one can lift the damn thing.

It's full of charts
and facts and figures
And instructions for dancing.

Ah, what a sloppy love song. Yes, I have it on my iPod. What? What bruv? What blud? Cha.

I'm wearing my nerd glasses. They bring out an unpleasant side of me.
I spoke to my brother on the phone recently- he's up in Scotland where he's purchased his own property (well done you) - and to this date, he greets me with a term he coined of an old school friend of mine. Back in year eleven (when kids are around 15 years old for those of my readers from around the globe ;D ) this old friend of mine had a website and the tag line was:

Wayasayin Ya Goose?

This struck a chord with my brother and he's still saying it to this day. It's fun to hear him say it.
I made the mistake of telling him about this blog. Which means I can't say offensive stuff about him. Or anything really, he'll tell me off. In front of you.

That last song's finished now and I'm trying to guess what this song is based on the introduction music. Much like Nevermind The Buzzcocks. Unfortunately, Damien Rice's introduction music, even the original rendition of it, is shit.

The song is cold water.

You may ask why I'm listening to such lame, soppy music. It's because I'm upset about having been dumped. And I'm an introverted, passive aggressive recluse at the moment reeling in agony and self pity, woe be unto me; hath a heart suffered as doth mine? Wouldst the sun rise on such a bleak world where a man would have his heart wrenched asunder with no care or compassion? Or doth it surrender beneath the craggy, wretched cliff tops elsewhere, hidden away, casting mine life to shame? Hath the sun shone at all but to warm me to it's glow that one day it might snatch itself from my face. Recoiled in disgrace, cast to the depths of shame, longing, longing for the embrace of it's arms, confirming my existence. O that it should come to this! Lament! Where do I find my light?


No but really, these past few days have been crappy and it wasn't until recently, when I decided to ask a few questions to figure out why I'd actually been let go that things started to perk up.
She told me loads of stuff, things that it's probably impolite to relay here. But among some of the less important things was that she actually began having doubts about our relationship on the day that we went to watch 500 days of summer. This was because (let me break down the day for you):

a) We meet to go cinema.
b) We decide to watch 500 days of summer.
c) We go in to watch it.
d) I enjoy film, she doesn't so much.
e) Midway through film, she starts covering my eyes because I'm enjoying the film.
f) She continues to complain about being tired.
g) "But if your tired, your sitting down, why is sitting down tiring you?!"
f) She is annoyed that I snapped at her.
g) "I can't believe you snapped at me. I get so much more tired than that, and complain so much, if you can't put up with that I don't know how you'll cope with me REALLY complaining."

And that was one of the reasons she broke up with me. And that's pretty fucked up. I'm dumping YOU because I want to be a petulant brat...

Anyway, that's when I remembered what little of the film she LET me enjoy and it was a film about a guy who fell in love with a woman who fell in love with someone else. At the end of the film, he picks himself up, gets his life on track and meets this newer, more attractive girl who just happens to be called Autumn. Was a good film, I'm sure you enjoyed it too. Since I more or less spoiled it for you there. Sorry.

But yeah, I've been down on that recently. But things are looking up, I've changed my play list to one that consists of more, upbeat songs; Now I'm listening to:

Another by Notorious B.I.G.

"What do you do when your bitch is untrue, you cut the hooker off and find someone new, I need another bitch, in my life"

I cringe at each derogatory term for woman, but then, there's Lil Kim insulting men too. Which makes it a little better I think.


  1. Wayasayin ya goose?! Lol
    What side do your glasses bring out?
    Dumped.. ouch.
    Oh well it’s not like you expected it to last forever? She just got bored before you did!
    Anyways, don’t sulk, go out there, talk to a girl (or boy... :|), tell her she looks hot, be persistent, have a fling, make her fall in love with you, dump her, and then feel good about yourself?!
    . ..Don’t be so.. err.. introvert =P
    On the level though, there’s a lot of nice girls out there. Choose one, make her happy, and your share of happiness is around the corner. Its karma, you can’t honestly say you haven’t broken any hearts in your time!

  2. Amen Sistah. You said it good. Though the way you said Wayasayin made me fear you were my brother :/
    But sound advice.
    And yeah, what went around came around.

  3. Mr. Fiesta-tastic20 November 2009 at 22:23

    This is a comment on Usman's blog post entitled "Your a funny guy to bad about the rest of you, seriously you need to grow up".



  4. Mr. Fiesta-tastic23 November 2009 at 20:57

    Come back!!! Where you go!!! Why don't you write a post gunning her down to make yourself feel better!!! Write something man!!!

    How am I meant to write comments if you don't write posts?

  5. Mr Fiesta-tastic has a point...

  6. Mr. Fiesta-tastic25 November 2009 at 20:06

    Post another note!

  7. Bro, after reading this post I feel like dumping you myself, you have that effect on people :p

  8. After using the word Bro I feel like thumping you...

  9. damien rice is not shit.
    your face is shit.

    serina x

  10. just read the rest of it...
    i really wanted to 500 are SO lucky i saw it the other day before i read this. otherwise you would be dead now.

    and that is a HILARIOUS reason to dump someone.
    sorry i just realised that wasn't very nice what i just said......I mean, it's erm...terrible...yeah, it's really mean...sorry...

  11. No, no, I'm at apoint where I can look at the humour of it now. It is quite funny. Except my heart still bleeds.