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ZERO COMMENTS?! ZERO COMMENTS?! What am I writing these things for? Self adulation and the chance to utter every single one of my thoughts and give them immortality through this modern wonder of interwebby-ness? I think you'll find the answer is YES. NONETHELESS people, where are my comments?! What good is all this writing if there is no RECOGNITION for my deeds! You think I'm writing altruistically and for no other purpose that it gives you people something to read for 5 minutes?! Sod that! I want your attention, I want it all! Give... It... To... ME!!!!

And now that I've unleashed my self righteous, narcissistic self, let me give you a more sanctimonious rendition:

I'm doing this for YOU. I'm protecting you, nurturing you, enabling you to GROW, as a person, an INDIVIDUAL! To support you and save you from the auditory and visual RAPE of sites like YOUTUBE, helping you to see that there is in fact, another option than to simply stare at moving pictures. You can READ, my wonderful children, READ! And read you WILL with such vigor and poignant FLARE that you will find in yourself the capacity to WRITE yourselves!! And my doors are ALWAYS open for you to write on as much as you will. Write and write some more, to your heart's content write till you can only think to blink, to breathe, to feel and nothing more. Till the tips of your fingers are SO accustomed to the plastic of your keyboards, they wilt and tremble at the touch of anything but the aforementioned. Write and comment and argue and confront views, with vigour, with virtue, with VINDICATION if you must, at FlowerKid and his misleading name! At Mr. Fiesta-tastic and his choice of automotive name-tag, or by extension, the CAR he drives! Talk to C.L comment on her vivacious curves, her unruly hair and how you would just like to fall down and cry in it. Speak to dillruuba- ask her what the name means, speak to Phatrixsoccer about the phat-ness of soccer played in the matrix!

Speak to one another, this is a FORUM for the PEOPLE! A medium for mental masturbation! Excite you brains to the edge of climax and unleash it in a torrent of comments! You! You can do it!



If you're still my friends by this point, I'd just like to point out that I've had a tough few days. Firstly, my sister's back from Scotland and we all know what that means. I've had the pleasure of being promoted to a PROPER bed while she's been in Scotland. Hijacked her pillows, her mattress, her whole bedding, just lay there the first night I did. Just lay there and smiled. Ah that a man should have a bed to sleep on. Curled up in a foetal position, spread my legs as wide as I could and STILL had a bed to rest me feet on, it was FANTASTIC! Hell, I took over her whole room, soon her dressing table was covered in my deodorant, her coco channel replaced with my joop jump, my CK IN2U, her brush swapped for my razor. Yes, I was living the life.

And now she's back. So as swiftly as the train that reduced Germany's squad by one goal keeper, I was flung back onto my airbed. And I have a crank in my neck.

Gah! Until next time then?