Saturday, 31 October 2009

Lesbian Chatrooms, you'll get as much action as you would on a Segway...

Some of you are well aware that I have placed adverts on my blog. Some more keen followers may have noticed how their theme changed from "Muslims in Poland" to "Vote For a New Party" to the current "Drug problem/drink aware" adverts.

The clever people at google have a way to adjust the adverts that appear on my site according to the content I display on it. So key phrases that I use in this blog will help to determine the kinds of adverts you lot will see in future.

So if I decide to list a few random words.. Let's say, I dunno...
Jessica Alba

I should have some interesting ads coming my way.
Of course, in order to make any revenue, I'd have to make them appropriate for my audience- YOU lot, so I should be talking about something you're interested in.


Cha ching.

...Here come the penis enlargment adverts...

Today I've been painting again. This time it was a slightly mauve/cream coloured paint and I DIDN'T spill any on my crotch area. Only ever happens with white paint. I suppose I'm glad; this sort of off white colour could still be mistaken for man-juice; just from a slightly ill man.

Halloween tonight. I've been looking forward to going crazy tonight but I'm a little tired from all the painting and the bed I'm in is just so damn comfy.

Which brings me on to a whole new topic of embarressment. When I left my parents house to go find independance, my dad took it as an oppertunity to demolish the hell out of my old bedroom and turn it into a study for himself. Fortunately, what with him working all the time, he only got to the demolishing part and left it at that. In this time, I'd left my job, come back to my parent's house- just in time to help my dad start working on it again. Laying flooring, painting walls fitting a door, that kinda stuff. For the last few weeks I've been weasling my way back into the home although I still don't have a bed here. It was one of the first things to get demolished.

I've only recently been given a temporary air bed to sleep on until I start and get paid for the aformentioned job ( a few posts ago ). It's only now that the air bed has started feeling nice to me, before it would flip up from under me if I lean too much on one side, it would randomly fill with air in certain pockets, it would bend in places. But now it fits to the contours of my back, I've fitted it with some nice pillows, I've placed it in the room my dad wants to be his study.

We all know this rooms gonna be mine soon.

In the days I've been waiting for my job to start, I've been getting bored at home. So much so that the other day I decided to try something new. I logged onto a lesbian chatroom.

Now I'm not a girl, or a lesbian one at that, but I'd like to think that IF I was a girl I'd be a lesbian. This excuse didn't sit well with the lesbians in the group. The sharp women worked out that since my name was winnerballs (inspired by looserballs but without the air of defeat that comes with it) I PROBABLY wasn't a woman.

"Yo" I start with.

Instantly I'm greated with three different replies. The other 40 women ignore me.

1) ...

Not a great start. I haven't heard the term ASL since I "cruised" through chat rooms as a twelve year old with friends pretending to be a cool 20 something year old. ASL meant Age, Sex Locaiton.

I decided to test the waters that night, see how these women take to a man invading their cyber-territory.

They do not take kindly to it.

When I said 20 M London, the one who asked said: Mofo.

The time we spent together was filled with such insults flung my way.

At one point though, they asked why I joined this particular chatroom rather than the mixed one.

Isn't it obvious? No dudes.

Then I tried reasoning with them. Perhaps insulting their intelligence and sexuality with really bad logic would make them like me more.

"Well, the way I see it, instead of having to find a partner AND a sex toy, I'm kinda like the two things in one right?"

Again with the insults. Eventually my desire to eat a biscuit outweighed my desire to roleplay naughty scenarios with an overweight 40 something year old mother of three. I logged out.

I didn't get kicked out.


Thank you peeps again, for reading, really appreciate the comments, keep them coming! And I'm seriously impressed that you lot have visited my site nearly THREE HUNDRED times in the space of a week! Much love. One time. Peak times. Respect.
And all of that nonsense.

See you in a few hours when I feel the urge to talk about my dinner or something...

1 comment:

  1. lol
    Painting Plaster, McHugh Demolition, Leeds, Gay teen chat, Gay.
    I guess my imagination got the better of me..
    Ahh i remember chat rooms, for some reason conversation always lead to sex.
    Well.. it stil does, without the chat rooms.
    Anyways, best not to mess with lesbian women, apart from the fact that they're mostly feminist, they tend to be rather manly with strap-on cocks and what not.
    I say go for bi-sexual ladies. Now they know how to have fun. 