*&£@%%!

Ah how much I need to say before I get off this laptop and how little time I have to say it in... Firstly, yes, I'm borrowing my neighbor's internet again, I PROMISE I'll give it back to him once I'm done with it. In fact, we can share. Right now. Though he's an old geezer so probably already asleep. I'm simply helping him make the most out of his broadband package...

Ok, just got a letter from a company. Wexas. When I was working at O2 all those many, many, countless months ago.. They had this scheme where they had partnered with loads of companies in a way to cut out commission and save money, while at the same time reward their employees. It sucked. Instead of thinking: Oh sweet, I sold 30 phones today, I get X amount of money, it left workers thinking: Oh sweet! Spirit points!

Yes. They were called. Fricking. Spirit. Points.

Minus the fricking. What's worse, when I left in an impromptu way- I simply stopped turning up, they decided I wasn't allowed to claim any of my spirit points. So that was the equivalent of £1,500 in commission that I didn't get. Pissed. Anyway, my point is, another thing they let us do was sign up to this database of companies and get discounts and crap from them. So I signed up to this travel agent like company called Wexas. Which I now have come to know only deals with flipping first and business class flights, which... let's face it, on an O2 salary? Happens once every never. So, little use to me. I left the company alone although they keep sending me these amazing glossy catalogues which advertise all sorts of locations and make you want to just splash your life savings and go to... Random destinations. Very appealing. But anyway, the other day they just sent me an invitation to attend a seminar on how to dampen the blow of inheritance tax and also which investments are likely to pay off good dividends...

What has this got to do with a travel agent?!

Well, I bring you back to my point about all their packages being first/business class and that will give you an idea of their average clientele...

Rich people invited to a seminar on how to get richer. Plus there's a lunch. I'm already there.

Well then there's the annoying thing about letter. It's invited me to attend on the day of my ex's birthday. Which is all well and good, just a kooky coincidence, but recently....

My mum subscribes to two magazines: Khawateen, a ladies Urdu magazine and *&£@%%! which is also a ladies magazine which just happens to be the name of my Ex. The other day, she asked me to bring her magazines.

"But not the khawateen. Bring ONLY the *&£%%! please. I only really like that one."

...Seriously?
And THEN, she sat me down next to her saying I need to speak more urdu.
"I mean, do you know what this word even means?" Pointing at the title of the magazine.

Come on....

Seriously!? I actually didn't know what the word meant. It means very clean. The utmost of purity. Untouched.

Well... Ha!

The there's the fact that some company called *&£@%%! is now advertising on my mum's favorite TV channel! Which is ALWAYS ON!
And my hands smell like Garlic!! And the smell won't wash off!!

Anyway, I'll live. Just loads of stupid reminders which are lame.
Oops, too much moping, I know you avid readers don't like that much but seriously, suck tenderly on my balls. Otherwise, if it displeases you so much, just skip a few lines. Sheesh...

Back to more cheerful things: A Facebook status today which.... Before I post it up, let me say, as of now SIX people have clicked LIKE on...

Things get baited, the boy gets rated, the girl gets hated.

I'm not sure if the grammar was quite like that, maybe boy was spelled with an i. Who knows? But anyway, this is an adage that's been sprung around a few times before but I never really thought about it 'til now. It's about how when a relationship gets outed, boys get kudos from their pals while girls seem to be the target of criticism. Which is SOOooOOOooo unfair.

Firstly, that so was a sarcastic one. It's hard to carry that across over text but I was hoping the exaggerated spelling and use of capitalization would help to carry it across.

Because: The problem with this whole situation is in the first part. Things get baited.
GIRLS!
If you treat your relationship LIKE a dirty little secret and tell NONE of your friends, then it will come across as a dirty little secret when people find out about it! So if you don't want people to think: "Oh, what nasty thing was that girl hiding?" It's probably best to be a little open about these things. And guy's don't mind having people hear about their relationships, generally. And those that do are probably gay. Or playing you with someone else.

And if a guy gets rated for being with you, come on, take that as a compliment!!

Anyway, I'm done, go eat a grape. Just one, you greedy fool of a took!