Palestine/Israel.

Was speaking to my dad and he came out with:

The Guardian is a Jewish newspaper, never trust what they say they're biased.

So I was a little defensive. I like the guardian, I read it for football updates, I read it for world news and mostly, I read it to stay informed about the situation in the Middle East, predominantly the situation in Palestine. So for me to hear they are biased particularly regarding this issue was a little... Strange.

I went off on one. We've recently hooked a media center PC running Ubuntu on it to our Telly in the living room. It works great, amazing resolution it's a 1080p Sony Bravia screen so you can imagine the picture quality is pretty good. Perfect for me to bring up the Guardian website and read an article out to my dad.

The first article we came across. In the home page of the guardian website:

Israel denies Gaza war crimes in report to UN

So immediately we see that this proudly left-wing newspaper is pretty critical of Israel's use of force in it's attack on Gaza. In fact, here are a few of the figures it quoted in the article:

-Only ONE Israeli soldier has been reprimanded after the war in Gaza, for stealing a credit card from a Palestinian home and stealing 250 pounds.

-The three week war left 13 Israeli dead, in contrast to the 1,400 Palestinians killed.

-Israel defended it's use of White phosphorus in it's attacks on Gaza.

There's more. Needless to say, I was feeling justified in my defense of the Guardian. Then my dad did his signature, patting my leg saying, "You're right son" patronizingly and moving away.

I would have argued more but it was pointless. He was right in his mind, I'm right. Full stop.

A trait I seem to have adopted for myself from him (alongside the balding) is my stubbornness. I'm argumentative and often for no reason. So, sorry if I appear to be... what's the word? Well, if I come across as a prat, I'm sorry.

Anyway, I carried on reading about this Israeli attack on Gaza and there was a video of eye witness accounts and relatives of innocent civilians who had been murdered in the attacks.

But to bring you back on the phosphorus attacks that Israel carried out in Gaza. White phosphorus is an incendiary material that is very reactive. It can set stuff alight.
The legitimacy of it's use is somewhat open to debate. In the US, the field manual Rule of Land Warfare states that incendiary weapons can be used against such targets that require them to be used against, essentially, they shouldn't be prohibited outright because there exist SOME targets that you may only be able to effectively hit using such weapons.
Others state clearly that it is outright "Against the law of the land" to employ white phosphorus against personnel targets. So fine, you may be able to use it against tanks or, I don't know aircrafts in a way, but not against personnel.

So then their can be no reasonable justification for Israel's use of WP (white phosphorus) in tank shells bombarding a UN School in Gaza. Initially they claimed it was because the school had opened fire on them, though the claims were retracted shortly afterward. So where is the investigation into this attack? What ramifications will be placed on those responsible? None. Instead it has paid $10m to the UN and as such, cleared itself from any blame.



A while back I wrote about military drones that the US deployed in Pakistan and their pin point precision. Well, Israel has it's own batch of top secret drones which it uses to carry out areal attacks and with the range of civilian casualties, it would seem they do so quite indiscriminately.

The video I went on to watch, which a can't embed because it's a Guardian video (though if you want to watch it, just go here) describes these attacks. I only just found it's a series of three so if you have the time, I'd advise that you check them out here.

And I don't mean to give you a reading list, I hate it when some dude who's developed a temporary complex on one thing suddenly insists I do all sorts of reading into that topic. But I feel that a lot of people I know actually care about these issues. Particularly Muslim youths who have feelings of antipathy towards policies and governments but can't actually shape those views into coherent opinions because of, perhaps a lack of thorough understanding of a situation.

I say Muslim in particular because I feel that we develop a sort of kinship with other Muslims worldwide (wars between Muslim nations like Iraq/Iran notwithstanding). Not that non Muslims cannot feel empathy, (on the contrary, some of the most vocal human rights protesters are in fact non Muslim) it's just that it's an ingrained part of Islam that all Muslims are brothers and sisters. Regardless of race or gender or social background, Muslims- in my experience- show an innate compassion towards other Muslims. And when you're bombarded with images of old women in Burkas crying over the remains of their relatives, or seeing demolished buildings and streets full of rubble, seeing young children have to bring up their younger siblings alone it strikes a chord with you. Especially in light of the flagrant injustice your own government tries to pass off as laws and conventions which are implicitly detrimental to those people you see on the TV set. If not detrimental, then insulting; laughing at the idea of their humanity.

When you live in a democracy you have to take responsibility for it's decisions. Just as you may stay up at night and cheer when the party you voted for gets elected, what do you do when your Foreign secretary and Prime Minister rescind judgments by Judges to hold people responsible for crimes they have committed.

Perhaps this analogy needs some background first. In December of last year, a London Judge issued a warrant for the arrest of Israel's former foreign secretary, Tzipi Livni for crimes committed against Gazans.

David Miliband, our foreign secretary called the court's actions "Insufferable" and Gordon Brown, likewise refuted the action and the warrant was then repelled.

I'm going on and on, and by now most of you would have stopped reading no doubt.
My point is that there's a lot wrong with the situation in Gaza, it's almost surreal that so much is still debated and that we- Britain- are allies with a country that seems to have a 0 accountability approach, uses excessive force, butchers civilians and steals land from beneath the feet of people. And I don't mean Britain as a sort of... nationalist or some sort of patriotic gesture of our endearing moral code- hell we conquered loads of the world in very, very bad ways. No, what I mean is that we live such a sheltered, easy life here, where the biggest injustices we face is blaring music on a bus or something. And we just sit back and tolerate evil on the scale of Israel. It's not cool. I say tolerate but we're (Britain) culpable for the state of Israel's conception and by extension, any of it's subsequent (and numerous) crimes. Though I'm pretty sure I've already blogged about that in a previous rant.

If any of you would like to read a few articles based on the issue of Palestine/Israel, then you can read these short articles here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/dec/17/tzipi-livni-arrest-warrant-israel-gaza

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/jan/31/israel-war-crimes-un-report

And tell me if my dad was wrong about the Guardian.

Plusnet, oh and F*^%#ng Virgin Media

Thank you person using plusnet broadband. You keep visiting my site; practically hourly, if not more frequently. Who are you? It say's you're in Milton Keynes but the map tool of this site I'm using is kinda crappy so you could be... ANYWHERE for all I know. I do know you're using Plusnet broadband though. And probably running XP, using internet explorer (seriously, make the move to Mozilla- So much better!) And that's it!

Scared you off? No, you're brave, you'll be FINE!

Oh dear, LORD! My contract with Virgin Media has finally come to an end! I called them up expecting some annoying Indian Peter to tell me- I can be annoyed at Indian call centers without worrying about seeming racist or offensive, I'm brown colored- that he can provide me with "hundred percent better deal sir". But no, Virgin pull out at all the stops with their retention team. Glasgow, it seemed. Wonderful, friendly accents. But the people weren't THAT great at convincing me to stay. They seemed quite dispirited and beaten. I got the impression they were all coffee stained and slumped into their booths- I called twice you see.

So the first time I called, I was told that if I wanted to keep my telephone number, I'd just have to cancel the broadband and telly and when moving to BT, they would do the transferal on my part. Simple. But the lady asked why I wanted to leave.

Well you hooked me in with this awesome deal saving me money left right and center but the bills came progressively more and more expensive, to the point where I'm often spending in the region of a hundred pounds on this package. So I just want to pay less. Plus your internet is slow and your telly channels are crap.

Oh, well what other channels do you want?


Sky sports, sky movies.

We can give you that, you'd only be paying an extra & pounds a month.


But I just told you my bills are ALREADY too high...


Well, if you want these kinds of packages, they're going to be high anywhere, plus you won't get the same sort of internet that you get with us with anyone else...


But I already told you my internet is crappy. I pay for a 20 meg service and every speed test I've EVER done shows I get like... 5 meg.


You said you were thinking of moving to BT? Our site shows they'll only be able to give you 512kb internet, that's half a meg.


I KNOW... what half a meg is.......
And no, I've done speed checks myself, I'd get an average of 12meg, and my site was ofcom regulated. Just cancel my package please.


Are you sure you don't want to take a little more time to reconsider and perhaps call back in a few days?


....................................:|
No.


Fine. Grumble Grumble.



And then we decided that even the phone line Virgin gave us was so fucked up that we'd rather get a new one altogether. We keep getting market researchers calling us up asking for Janice Acheebu. Not cool man. Not cool. Compounded by the fact that we were WITH Virgin a year ago, and we moved to another Virgin package, just this time under my name instead of my dad's and they refused to let us keep our phone number. The phone number we had for like... 15 years!!

So I call back a second time, this time talking to a dude who again tries to ask why I want to cancel our Virgin contract. By this point I'm no longer even going to let him TRY and offer me a pitch:

Well, I pay too much, considering I was under the assumption I was going to pay LESS for getting a bundle of all three packages. I had to pay for this router you guys gave me that I didn't even want, haven;t even used. I also had to pay about 10 pounds for it to be delivered to my house. Which involved a guy leaving it unattended in front of my doorstep. I then had 4 months of internet well below a Meg when I was paying for 20. O2, the company I want to move to offer me 20meg broadband for 15 pounds a month; yours costs more than 30 a month. I like British call centers and your customer service centers are all based in India. The phone line you gave us was recycled from someone who was signed up for all sorts of market research companies. I Can't call 0845 numbers because you'll charge me extra for them even though BT offer them for free. Also the fact that a lot of your own numbers are 0845 numbers and your customers would have to PAY to contact you on them. The television package you gave us is kind of rubbish, no decent channels, we want sky because of all the packages, it's system is just a whole lot easier to use than yours and... Again, good channels.
And I pay too much for my bills.


Right, I'll just put this cancellation through for you then sir, one moment please.

And that was that. Grrr, I hate Virgin Media. Every Richard Branson owned thing sucks. Anyway, what else? Oh yeah, anonymous Plusnet user, infact ALL people using Plusnet internet, tell me who you are, how I know you and ALSO-- if you're using a public computer which MIGHT be using Plusnet internet. And everyone ELSE!!! A few comments! Sheesh

UNKNOWN

I HATE Private number calls with a passion.
Why does the ability to hide your number even exist in a commercial way? Surely it does more HARM than it does benefit ANYBODY.

Gah! Angry much!? Yes, sorry, I'm cool, I'm cool!

How are things? Actually that's all I wanted to say I'm not gonna continue typing a load of nonsense just for the sake of keeping up appearances. Toodles.

iPad, the multi-touch tampon.

I'm a Microsoft fan-boy turned dark side of the force with my unnatural fixation with this new iPad.

The funnier guys in the net have commented that it does indeed sound like a trendy tampon. Which makes me laugh every time. Yes, I laughed as I wrote that. My brother in law insisted it should be called the iSlam.
...
Weak.
But also funny. Because he reads this blog. But it's impressive that technology has advanced so much. I could go into a whole introduction to ease you into the topic I'm about to delve into. You know what, I will...

Technology has improved SO much, less than a decade ago, the best way to take music on the go with you was to take a CD player about. CD's, that spin around, while you jog, they'd get damaged, they had a TINY capacity, they had awful controls. They were MASSIVE. And a few years on, you can have a music player that plays music videos off the internet, small enough to fit in your shoe, it can track your heartbeat and monitor your workout for you. And that's only one example. The ability to discard a mouse, use multi-touch screens, motion sensor technology deployed in the Wii or even the upcoming add on for the X Box 360 (youtube project Natal for a cool video...) The fact of the matter is, Technology advances in the computing world actually dictate the way the human race is evolving socially. Be it in a positive or negative way.
The way we shop, the way we watch the news, the way we fall in LOVE, the way we study, the way we react to missing a television show, the way we condemn or condone stealing- whether you like it or not, illegal downloading is stealing. Our morals are being shaped in the way people revolutionize the way we interact with a personal computer.
It's true, computers have advanced immensely, and predictably in accordance with Moore's Law, which you can look up yourself, and some would argue that, by comparison, other fields of technology have stood at a relative standstill. Look at hoovers, we still have to walk around with them. Kitchen appliances, lighting, the motor industry have pretty much stayed the same in form factor and the way we approach them/ interact with them. Yes, they work better, more efficiently, but there hasn't been the same boom of creativity in them as there has in computer technology. Perhaps it's because it would be like solving a problem that doesn't exist, perhaps though, there isn't the space for innovation in those industries as there is in the computing world?

Bill Gates once said of GM, the American car manufacturer:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

Which is a little bit biased, surely he didn't need to pick out GM in particular. Perhaps he'd had some shtick with his chevy some time down the road...

Though it seems ridiculous that a car would be anything like that, consider the size and cost of computers and their capabilities around 40 years ago and see how they've developed.

Anyway, GM came up with a much wittier, much more entertaining come back to Bill Gates' slur:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive- but would run on only 5% of the roads. ( This one made me laugh )

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Ah Bill Gates you silly fool. You rich, rich, silly fool.

Is MSNBC Really a conglomeration of both Microsoft and NBC? No.. Really?! Weird. No wonder they gave such a lackluster review of the iPad. Seriously, it sounds like a tampon with an apple symbol on it.

Anyway, that's all for me folks and I promise, not much more talk about the iPad from now on. It's out of my system until it hits shelves in a few months.

iPad

So it's called the iPad.
That's what I've worked out so far.
this is going to be updated as and when I get info on it! So exciting!!!

9.7" Screen. Very large, you're looking at netbook sizes here.
Wide viewing angles and better colour accuracy, though will be interesting to see how it looks in sunlight.

New application called iBooks. Killing competition for ebook megapower Amazon? Possibly.
Fancy touches include the ability to change the font of the text you're reading.
A move unlike Apple, they've released their ebooks in a format that is interchangable with other ebook readers.

And here's something fantastic. There's a 3G Model. For those of you who like to browse online, on the go, you can just pop a sim card into it. It's not sim locked like the iPhone was. Have a current unlimited mobile contract? Pop that sim into the tray!


Here's the good stuff, the PRICE:
$499 for the 16GB Model
$599 for the 32GB Model
$699 for the 64GB Model

Far lower than anticipated by pundits.

Anyway, I've done my bit selling this speil for Apple, here's the video, enjoy:

http://www.apple.com/ipad/#video

The FINAL COUNTDOWN da da da da!!!

So, in a few short hours, Apple introduce their iSlate. It's official. Otherwise the rest of the world's media are going to feel rather foolish after saying so in their broadcasts...

Ah, I'm so looking forward to it that I'm afraid I've over-hyped it in my own mind. But in tribute to the fact that it's coming in what, five hours, I'll deticate to it, a clip from my all time favourite TV show, arrested development:




Classic stuff.

Buy the DVD. Don't just watch it online at websites like these ones:
http://vids.tv/Arrested-Development/tv
or
http://www.tvduck.com/Arrested-Development.html
or
http://www.sidereel.com/Arrested_Development

Don't take into account the fact that it only lasted 3 series; the thing with this show is you have to watch it from the start- on that DVD boxset you've just bought- in order to make sense of it and to actually enjoy it. If you think that it getting cancelled has ANYTHING to do with the quality of the show, then listen to the show's David Cross give his opinion:



And that was left in the DVD extras. Perhaps another reason to buy the DVD. Aside from the fact that you won't have to watch it in CrApPy qUaLiTy on a fuzzy screen.

But yeah, Apple! Woooo! 7pm GMT. Ah, now I have to figure out a way to get people to visit this blog again... Hmm.

How I Met Yo Mama & Green Street

HAAAVE You met me??

Welcome back to the blog to all my previous visitors, and hello to anyone visiting for the first time. Hope you've had a good break from the blog; it's back, by the way. Why? Well, after a while of continuous blogging I felt that things were becoming a little drab- I wasn't really blogging about anything in particular or about anything of interest. So I took a break and as soon as I did, I kept coming across stuff that made me think- Oh man, I could write about that!!

So we should begin at a recent trip to Green Street, the brownest street in London outside of perhaps Whitechapel. Though this is a slightly less... Dark shade of brown. Nothing wrong with Whitechapel except perhaps the fact that it smells odd, it's over populated and you're unlikely to walk through it without having some sort of infected object stabbed into you. Not that Green Street is much better, for the most part I despise Green Street. It's almost as crowded as Whitechapel, the smells not as bad but then there are PARTS that could make you want to kind of... not breath. I haven't feared being stabbed in Green Street though, which is probably because- sadly... SADLY- I fit in a little too well there. That's right I said it, I get on with the people in Green Street. They like my miss-pronounced attempt at speaking Urdu with them, they look down in a sort of pity at the fact that I would wear a blazer, they find humor in the cowboy boots I own... They're made comfortable and put at ease with my "sillyness" such that they decide they don't actually HATE me.

I hate them for it... How dare these people that I HATE, not hate me?! And refer to me as Beeta. Or bachuu...

Fun fact about Facebook! The status limit is 420 characters. Any more than that and your status will not post. Far more generous than the Twitter limit of 140 characters, though still limiting. You see, since I closed this blog, I still had to vent about the plethora of ridiculous groups that are propping up on Facebook. Here's one.

Gannah Bali and Thuaib Gawa became fans of: You Fone Me. I Air Your Call. You Fone Bak On Private. Hu Yu Tryna Fool?

Yes, yes, the spelling made me dizzy too. It's fine. Just don't stare at it too long. Resist the urge to puke. Already making it's way up to your mouth? Just swallow it all away...

So yeah, I decided to imitate it in one of my statuses using really bad grammar, spelling and punctuation; basically typing like a twat. But my imitation got a little carried away and went above the 420 character limit...

It totaled at over 1,800 characters. Undeterred, I just split the status up into many mini status' and posted them individually. Which in itself became a little bit of an issue because the Home Screen of Facebook shows the most recent activity of the particular Facebook users and if they've just posted let's say 5 status', it'll only show the LAST one.

My last status read this:
Bre silly people out dere hu try silly trixxcksssss lyk dat bt dey need to KNO! KMT Like...

It was FUNNY in the context of all the OTHER status' which you had to read first. On it's OWN, I sound like a transgendered chameleon. With a lisp.

I've watched "How I Met your Mother" recently, on the behest of a certain person. She posted a song about suits on her Facebook recently and I HAD to watch it ALL. In 3 sittings I watched ALL 5 seasons up to the latest episode. SO good. But what I've found is that the three guys in the show; Barney, Ted and Marshell are a sort of comic version of me and my two best mates. I, though I find it painful to admit, would be most like Ted. Yes, Ted. Now, I know you must think I've got some sort of complex where I see myself as the main character of a Telly show, but bear with me. I'm the guy who ALWAYS falls in love. Dry humor- mostly sarcasm, and like Ted, is LOOKING to be in some weird, long term relationship.

Then you've got the Barney character- Oh how I wanted to be Barney. But unfortunately, that goes to my mate Moynul. He's a gimp who colors his hair, is always immaculately dressed, gets manicures, comes up with crazy plans for nights out, earns the most of our inner circle. Yeah, if anyone he'd get the title of Barney...

Then there's Abdul's rendition of Marshell. Admittedly he isn't in a full time relationship with anyone but he might as well be. He's very Marshell-esque in his foolishness at times.

Me: How's Uni going?
Abdul: Alright but today I couldn't get ANY work done...
Me: How comes?
Abdul: This girl I was working opposite... Had a REALLY, REALLY low sleeve top.
Me:...
Abdul: She was Hot...
Me: Sexy Biceps?
Abdul: Huh?

Awww, he's shoooo CUTE! And makes silly grammatical mistakes like that. We were THIS close to convincing him there's a tablet you can swallow to charge your phone if it's near your body. THIS close!

So yeah, really enjoy HIMYM. And am in LOVE with Robin. HOT. Damn. Cobie Smulders, you can cobie MY smulders any way you like... Phwoar.
It got to a point where I had to pick between her and Kristen Bell. It was ACTUALLY a heartbreaking decision. I think for now it's gone to Cobie Smulders... Never thought I'd say that...

ANYWAY! Back to Green Street! There was an anecdote in there that I overlooked! So there I am, FINALLY at Green Street after being miserably lost (Yet another sucky part of Green Street, the journey there...) and it's dark out now. I'm doing some shopping for my parent's. Apparently, there's not place closer to home that sells packets of... seasoning and stuff in big packets.. So I'm at the shop, just paid for like 7 big carrier bags of STUFF that I can't even put a name to- it's all foreign to me. And I'm sorting out how to hold all these heavy bags, so I put them on a bench and organize the carrier bags so they don't become all thin at the handle part and dig into my hand. You know what I mean right? Anyway, while I do that this guy behind me is pacing the space outside this shop saying:

HALF PRICE.
HALF PRICE.
HALF PRICE.

Only he's curling the end of the word price. He's extending the S sound. And he's not really shouting, perhaps I shouldn't have put it in capitals like that. It's more like:

half pricee
half pricee
half pricee

So he carries on doing this and I notice he's got some perfumes in his hand. I see he's about to come over to me and I shake my head to make it clear I'm not into knock off CK perfumes. He looks dejected; no ones paid him ANY attention in the last few minutes. And why would they? His sales pitch is SHIT! I decide to offer him a bit of help but think he ought to show a bit of initiative too so I hint what he should do.

Half price what? I say to him, still working on these carrier bags- seriously, they were heavy.

Half pricee perfumesss
Half pricee perfumesss

And just like that he gets some polish dude interested in his product. He literally TURNS around walks backwards just to inspect the perfumes! That's some BIG deal when your selling on the streets! So I'm still watching at this point, and the guy seems REALLY nervous, it may WELL have been his FIRST pitch of the day. At 6pm...

He didn't look up at me, but if he had, I would have offered him an encouraging glance, perhaps a thumbs up. It was clear he needed it.

When the potential customer asked him how much, he made a fatal rookie mistake. He said the stock price of "49 poundssss". And before he could say "but I'll sell it to you for 20", the guy had already begun walking away!! What a muppet merchant! And a lost cause. Everything about his sale was WRONG! If you mention the retail price straight away, you throw the customer into defense mode. No charisma, nothing. And he was OFFERING IT FOR BETTER THAN HALF PRICE! And ADVERTISING at half price! Gah! I gave up on him, disgusted, fed up, I decided to walk away.

So yeah, that happened.

And other stuff too, though I'm finding it hard to think of it all at this moment.
Welcome back!!

Looserballs

I love this blog, it gives me an excuse to just ramble on and on. Which is something that comes unnervingly naturally to me. So much so that I think it's in fact detrimental to me. Which is why this is going to be my last post.
I've spent hours and hours writing stuff that I really hope has made you laugh or even a little grin would do. I'm aware that occasionally I've gone off on one. I'm sorry if any of these posts were lackluster, I sincerely appreciate the time you've all taken to read my stuff.
Writing one of these things is interesting, it gives you a sense of accomplishment because you skim over all the stuff you've written and you get a little bit of a buzz. "Aw, I wrote all that." Though, what sort of ACHIEVEMENT is it to write a few shoddily crafted paragraphs? Delusions of grandeur.
I reckon I've begun feeling that it is incumbent upon me to write these things. At first- and just as much now really- it was an attempt to keep ties with a part of my past who frequents this site. And over time, as more people began visiting I also wanted to give you something interesting to read.

Which has been great and all, but I really don't want to anymore.

And with the only reason remaining being an attempt to hold on to something that isn't actually there anymore, I reckon it's time to grow up.

Fun while it lasted, it's not you, it's me..
Yadda yadda yadda.

Just came across some Goo Goo Dolls songs on my iPod. Reminded me of one of the best mates I've had, who over time, I've just stopped being in contact with. Ah, the shit load of time we'd spend at college together. Fucking awesome days.

Ahhh, Nostalgia! I dunno, I'm sure we all feel differently about the past; but I can't be the only person who comes across a random memory once in a while that just makes you wish you could re-live certain moments. Not change a single thing, just sit there and enjoy it all over again. And yeah, though there are things I WOULD change... Fuck there were amazing times!!

Join this group if you've ever had fun.....
o.O

If I wasn't so against joining Facebook groups, I'd join this one:

Don't you hate it when you die from not passing on chain mail?

Because that's happened to me, like 4 times...
AH! What is new? I woke up today to snow all over the garden. It took me ages to work out if it was there since last night or if it had just dropped. I'm getting quite fed up with this snow now... It gets you JUST as wet as rain; you just don't notice and it's colder. Not cool man... Not cool.

It's gonna be interesting if the fad of Facebook lasts for a few more years, just to see what current university students are gonna use facebook for once they graduate. Because most of them seem to use Facebook to bemoan their dissertations or to find out if a lecture is still on. I'm wondering how they will adapt their Facebook use to post-grad life...

"Went Uni today, had to hand in my coursework. Hope I got a good grade..."
Becomes...
"Went grocery shopping today, had to hand in my money. Hope i got good products..."

"Wohoo! My loan came through.. Let's all go Sheesha!"
Becomes...
"Damn loan, I swear I didn't spend this much?!"

"Wohooo! Can't wait for Gavin's PARtaAAY"
Becomes...
"Is anyone else ACTUALLY going to the office party?"

Yeah, Facebook is ACTUALLY evil, I'm sure of it... It will lead us all to some sort of death or slavery or something bad...

Am done now. Go back to Facebook.

I've got to a point where I don't care what the title is any more...

I suppose I should begin writing this blog post...
Expect that tone of lethargy throughout...
Yes, with those ellipses throughout...

Maths was ayte... For those of you who aren't aware- YOU'RE NOT AWARE?!?!? HOW DARE YOU?! - Naw, I'm kidding, I started up a maths course at some place. Was alright but sooo simplistic, it's stuff I covered myself months ago. I dread to think where we'll get if we carry on at the pace we exhibited tonight. I'd imagine PERHAPS this group will garner SOME sort of understanding of what a fraction is towards the end of the course. Sad...

So I'm applying to transfer to another course. Which I HOPE they allow me to do. Otherwise, I may shoot myself...

Or just do the course, whatever...

I worked out like a BITCH last night. Until I collapsed under my own weight. It was wicked, although I did whimper out like a candle at the end. Not manfully collapse, more akin to fainting like a damsel in distress, I just folded into myself. And just lay there for a few minutes trying to lift my arms.

But boy, I reiterate, if you want to get into shape or just be less lazy- you should try this regime out. www.hundredpushups.com Really good.

What else? Until recently, I'd been using an FCUK shower I gel someone bought me a while back and I loved it, only it didn't really work for the hair, so I had to use whatever was lying around nearby. Which is fine. Though just the other week I came across this shampoo that one of my sister's must have bought. Aussie Aussome Volumizing Shampoo. Well, consider my predicament, balding dude, thin hair. Why not bolster what little hair you have to make up for the lack of hair..? And it seems to work, my hair feels more like a main. All wonderful, shiny, thick, wonderful. I even go so far as to style it now! Woohoo!

But here's the catch. Whenever I'm stood in the shower, head full of shampoo- I then come across a conundrum. My chest hair. When I wash this off, all this volumizing stuff's going to give my CHEST HAIR a woomph and make IT volumized too! This chest hair aint in ANY need of volume...

...So I carefully wash my hair leaning forward so as to minimize the splashing of shampoo on my chest. And arms.
And legs.

Ah, I've perked up now! This song is fun!



Yeah, play that! It reminds me of the dance sequence in 500 days of Summer, which is actually really good. In fact, it's so good, I'll embed it. You should watch it:



Come on, I'm sure we've all had days when you just feel like this. Aren't they great? Okay, minus the animated bird. But the street full of dancing people- Yeah! We've all experienced THAT feeling!! Absolutely fantastic, when it happens!

Ah man I miss Summer! I meant the Season...
Although semiotically, assuming I meant Summer to mean a person WOULD make sense too.

I lol'ed. I cackled! I literally cackled just now. The beginning of 500 days of Summer, you probably won't remember it if you watched it. I decided to re-watch it just now and as I pressed play, it begins with this:


The following is a work of fiction.
Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Reading that you think, wow, this writer is basing this on a real life story! LOL!

And then it goes on to say.

Especially you Jenny Beckman.

At which point you lol a bit more.

Bitch.

ROFLMAO!!! Ah, I wish I made this film!!
Ok, I'm gonna go watch this film, you've finished reading this so go read some poetry.

A Blog post a day....

Keeps incessant boredom at bay... To some extent.
Yesterday saw an all time high of visitors to my blog. Thank you all very much. Did it have something to do with the fact that I posted THREE posts? Possibly. It's at this time of night I stay up wishing I could fall asleep but am just bombarded with thoughts of EVERYTHING. Random crap fills my head. I suppose it's just as well that the class I'm attending tomorrow is in the evening. Yeah, we'll see how that goes. I've got big plans, I just hope they pan out how I want them to.

I spoke about a website a few weeks back called www.hundredpushups.com where you can pick up a training regime to try and hit a hundred push ups in six weeks. Well, I've just completed week two and I can do a hell of a lot more press ups than I could- we're talking almost double. It's really impressive, you need an iota of will power and a couple free minutes every other day... Really good! I've been keeping on target so who knows? Four weeks from now I might be doing a hundred push ups!
I've read that once you go beyond doing twenty repetitions of an exercise, you're no longer working on muscular strength, rather you're building up your muscular endurance. Heavier weights are called for if you want to keep growing muscle mass... So I've looked into loads of different exercises. Unfortunately I've not got a home gym, or even an impressive set of dumbbells (an old pair from years back that weigh 5 KG each)... So I'm looking around the net for body weight exercises like push ups. I've come across planche push ups, which are apparently quite hard to do. They are. Essentially push ups without your feet touching the floor.

Yikes.

But I'm working on them too!! -D (drawing eyes is haraam, so I drew just the nose and mouth...)

What more is there to talk about? Nothing of interest, really. Go bathe; you STINK!

If the stars fell out of the sky, and my tears rolled into the ocean...

Black and Gold by Sam Sparro. I like that song.

Well, here I've sat at my laptop, getting ready for my maths lesson tomorrow. Looking forward to 3 hours of studying tomorrow. Sort of.
I need to buy STAMPS! In order to send some letters away. Gah, why can't I get them online. =(
Anyway, while I was sat on my bed, I came across this AWESOME bit of information. Check it out:

A guy called Kepler came up with 3 laws of planetary motion. The first one is quite by and by,
"The orbit of every planet is an ellipse with the Sun at the focus. "

Which is cool. Planets orbit stars not necessarily in perfectly circular motion but in any form of ellipse, which CAN include circles- circles are after all a form of ellipses.

The SECOND rule is what seemed really cool to me.
"The line joining a planet and the Sun sweeps out equal areas during equal intervals of time."

What does this mean? RIGHT. Let's say we're circulating the sun, right? And over one day we've moved a certain amount around our orbit of the sun. Over any period of it's circulation, the area this planet covers in the course of a day will be the same.

Let this picture aid you:

Assuming that the curved perimeter of the slimmer shaded section is the equivalent of a day, then the curved edge of the thicker shaded area, (which has the same area as the thinner section) is also a day...

So even though the orbit is elliptical the same applies. Essentially meaning that when the planet is closer to the sun, it travels faster around it's orbit.

And Law three is cool though I'm STILL trying to wrap my head around it as I type about it, so forgive any mistakes I make:

"The square of the orbital period of a planet is directly proportional to the cube of the semi-major axis of it's orbit."

Hmmm...


Okay, a bit of background knowledge here. A major axis of an ellipse is the diameter of the longest point in the ellipse. And a semi-major axis is half of that, sort of like the radius if you will, only... not.

So the square of the time it takes a planet to rotate around the sun is equal to the cube of the planet's orbit's semi-major trajectory.

This explains something but by now my brain has gone to mulch because I've seen pictures of the new Prince of Persia game.
Oh, they're moving away from the new prince and going back to the old one. I loved both Princes but I was never as engrossed by another character as I was by the tragedy of Elika. Which is why I was kinda hoping for the new series to carry on for a while... I hope they come back to it.

In all honesty, I was more interested by the second law than I was by the third anyway. The third law is intrinsically connected to:

Which I'm sure is something important.
Theres not much else for me to say at the moment. Have fun working through that. If you have the will to live after all of it, COMMENT! WOOO! Go ON! You can DO IT! I believe in you! Now you believe in yourself!! Go!

iSlate youSlate everyoneSLATE!!!!!!!!

Last month I said that people looking to buy an iPod touch should perhaps wait for Apple to announce on the 26th/27th of January that they're releasing a new tablet device. Well, it's not gone by yet so we'll still have to wait and see. There has however, been a recent event called CES which basically showcases the upcoming devices of almost all other electronic companies from around the world. And some have released tablets of their own in what seems to be an attempt to preempt Apple's forthcoming release. There's videos of them up on youtube.
The question is though, would this sort of device appeal to you? It, if marketed in a particular way COULD seem to have a very niche audience, though I feel tat won't be the case.

In the next few quarters, I'd predict a plethora of these things hitting the market, the first few being quite underwhelming, but after some modification, some understanding of what people want, we'll begin to see some groundbreaking stuff. I'd imagine they've been under development for at least the best part of a decade now, so there's been significant groundwork. What with the recent arrival of the Tegra 2 processor by arm, the upcoming mainstream issuing of OLED screens, the smaller, more capacious hard drives and multi touch displays, they should be really, really FUN.

Tegra 2, for those of you who don't know is a new processor revealed in a showcase recently. It's developed by a company called NVidia. The benefits of it are that it's tiny. Uses very little power. And produces a great deal of computing power; 10 times more powerful than the average smart phone, using 20 times less battery power than a pc.

What does all this jargon mean? HD Video playback, for one.
It can play good quality 3d games.
It has the potential of having a really long battery life.

OLED screens, though expensive, mean the images will be much more crisp and display more vivid colours than standard screens at the moment.

Big Hard Drives, more crap to save on your device.

Multi Touch, you get to look like a prat swiveling your finger across a screen on the tube.

All in all, lots of fun.

But again, I post the question, How many of you would like to own one? How practical would it be for you to carry one around with you- in your bag, not your pocket. Magazines and newspapers are writing up content deals with manufacturers, meaning you'd be able to subscribe to magazines and read them on your tablets, download movies, watch them on the go. Potential Wi-Fi deals with providers like BT Openzone and the Cloud mean you can surf on the go.

Would you sacrifice carrying the thing in a bag over having an ordinary mp3/mp4 player? Well, would you have one in ADDITION to your mp3 player? Would it replace your laptop? I know a lot of people buy laptops on the pretense that they want to take them out with them but never do. I've been with people who simply cannot carry the bulk of their laptops, it hurts their arms. These slates shouldn't weight more than a kilo. Which is minuscule compared to the average laptop. So by that account, would you sacrifice the physical keyboard for a touchscreen device?

I reckon people (I myself for sure) would probably keep an mp3 player or consolidate music onto a phone and buy this as a laptop replacement for going out. I love my ipod touch to bits which is why I'm hoping Apple release a slate that is relatively similar to an iPod touch in its interface.

I know I've just let my inner geek shine through, am I the only one looking forward to their release?!

How many more of these wonder words of wisdom can I churn out!?

Watched the pursuit of happiness yesterday. What a good film! would recommend it to anyone who has yet to see it, I know I'm pretty late with getting around to the film, I've had it on my shelf for AGES now, I just remember hearing from someone that it's not a good film. Which I would avidly contradict. Fantastic film. Particularly for me since it's about a guy who's in a rut, so I felt I could relate somewhat.
I just enrolled into a maths course, so woohoo there! I reckon I need a a year of courses and perhaps I'll be able to decide what I want to pursue with regards to a university degree(?)... I dunno.
Job front: All the references can be accounted for, I've sent off ALL my paperwork- turns out there was some health sheet they thought they'd already sent me. Which they hadn't. Again.

But I dunno, I don't want to get my hopes up-AGAIN- but it SEEMS like there's suddenly been a little progress. Though the prospects of embarking in a career with local government with the imminent arrival of a conservative government seems to be a little counter-intuitive... I'm of course commenting on their promise to reduce the number of jobs in local government in order to make it more efficient.

If anything, please don't vote for the conservatives. And please vote. Don't let your vote go to waste. It's your voice, I just want to coerce you into using YOUR voice to vote Labour or Lib Dem. Please, there are so many, many evil parties with ridiculous agendas that could do so much worse than the two I just mentioned. Don't let the BNP get a foot hold into the houses of parliament, don't let the Conservatives get into power, the elitist middle class twats, we've already suffered as London through having the cheating conservative Borris Johnson as our mayor, please don't let the WHOLE country have to endure more of the same foolishness.

Anyway, that's my part done. Pursuit of Happiness = Awesome.
Borris Johnson and the Conservatives = Elitist pricks.
Well, I don't intend to defend any of my comments. So don't try to instigate some sort of challenge to my views. Here, Borris Johnson is a pedo. And David Cameron likes peeping on people while they do poo.
Honest.
It's in written form, it must be true.

Ah go do something with yourself. No, not that, you dirty fool. Wash your hands now. Or don't, that can be your punishment, keep your hands as they are, sticky and dirty now eat an apple.

SRI SRI!!! SRI SRI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOHH! We're about to witness the first episode of the second series of Being Human! Woop Woop!
In the meantime, let's focus on what the parents are watching at the moment.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar vs. Dr. Zakir Naik.
Battling it out to demonstrate the similarities in Hinduism and Islam. I dunno what to say about it. It's interesting.

Let us not change others. Let us change ourselves. Says Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.

But aren't you asking others to change when you ask them to change yourself??
Anyway, I don't want to get into that. It was interesting, you missed it. Oh well.

What else? Oh, I'm on Facebook and I notice a girl I know has joined a group called:

hello, im a boy. i tell you i like you, then mess you around, yay.

Looking for bitter, lonely women who are easy to manipulate? Look no further!!

I applied to work for Newham council like a century ago, before I even started this blog. I got told I got the job after an interview and a test and woop! But wait. I haven't even started yet...
Let me give you an idea of how long I've been waiting. This is a photo of me when I went in for an interview with them and next to it, a photo of me today. Notice how I've changed...


I've had a haircut since then too... Seriously lame.

Sunday Mirror Paper reporter dead. Seriously, I probably COULD care more for a reporter from a different newspaper. Sorry dude.

I'm bored now. That's all you get for now. Get prepped for take off, Being Human on at 9.30

Catch it, bin it, kill it, cook it, eat it

I feel a little bad, I just snapped at my dad quite naughtily..
He was surfing through BBC Iplayer on the telly and I was on the laptop with my headphones in. He started talking and it was barely audible over "Before I fall to pieces" by Razorlight, so I plucked a earphone out and asked him to repeat.
"What's this program about?"
"Kill it, cook it, eat it? It's a cooking program sort of..." I say, not focusing too much, still typing.
"Yeah but what's it about?"
"...Erm, they kill the animal themselves, then they cook it and eat it. Kill it, cook it, eat it..."

Look back at the monitor now, really wanting to get back into the swing of my typing...

"But what's it about? Do they do hunting?"

Publish Post

"DAD! It's called Kill it, cook it, eat it!! I'm sure it has SOMETHING to do with slaughtering an animal, then preparing a dish with the meat and ultimately consuming the meal they have prepared!"

"Okay."

Yikes. Didn't mean to snap so quickly...

So.....
What's new?! I'm not in the full swing of blogging at the moment. Go get ready for Being Human tomorrow at 9.30pm on BBC3. Unless you're reading this on a different day from today where it's likely that Being Human has already aired. DON'T FRET! It's available for a week on iPlayer! Been longer than that? Then you are a waste.
No you're not. Keep coming back here and comment and tell all the people you know about this site. That's right, mummy and daddy too!

Palestine>Israel=IMAginATIonlANd

I learned me some Algebra like!

I would JUST like to say a great big thank you to the people at the islamicawakwning forum for visiting this site and proving once again that it is the BEST ruddy site on the internet. Thank you for your visits and the kind kind words one of you said about it:


The analytical something post was hilarious!! lol

Thank you Fatima_Bintu_Islam your words of encouragement have led me to cry a little from my special spot.

Oh NO! Why did I have to go and say something as CRASS as that?! Gah! All respect has flown RIGHT out the window, my brother in law who visits this site is gonna leave me, I've lost the status as the BEST DARN BLOGGITTY in the WHOLE of a small part of East London! Oh NO!!

All for what?! A sexual innuendo? Was it worth it?! Was it WORTH IT!? No.
Will I go back and edit it? No. Because, as in life, you can't take back what you done, innit!? It's too late!

This is what my visitor map looks like now, it's FANTASTIC! LOOK!



All them red pins in the map are places what people have come from! Not locations of potential terrorist attacks you CrAzY people at google analytics! Just because I mentioned that Islamic awareness forum; you closed minded people will assume that there's some sort of terror organization brewing in the midst of all this sheer, naked, sexy creativity...

To hell with you, to hell with you all and your evil, derogatory, guilty until proven Caucasian ways. Infidels.

Ah! I'm at risk of being shut the hell down if I don't stop! Freedom Of Speech Ya Wankbanks! Oi Israel GET OUT! Get RIGHT out?!

No wait? What is Israel? It's not real, because there's Palestine, and then there's settlers all just jumping in and stealing land left right and center. Why validate what they've done by giving them a legitimate label as a state or anything.
Ah! I see what you've done with your name, it's an anagram of the words Is and REAL to lull us subconsciously into legitimizing your state when in fact you should be called IS-illegal! Is-committinghumanrightsatrocities! Is-BAD!
NO! You're just silly billies who have stolen land and have some money so no one will cause a fuss if you just STEAL land and bulldoze houses and terrorize innocent civilians in order to steal the land from under their feet and then KILL them so there's no one there left to defend the land that doesn't BELONG to YOU!! STOP Claiming to be democratic, peace loving people and pointing the finger of accusation on all the Arab countries that you and your corporate American big brother can't bribe or bully you DICKS! Stop killing innocent people by either force or by deprivation. Stop referring to it as a promised land, accusing Arabs of being backwards tribes who follow an ancient and archaic scripture when it pleases you and then turning around and saying the land USED to belong to your ancestors' a thousand+ years ago!! Stop using sarcasm as your ONLY sense of humor! Stop pretending that Zionism and Judaism are one and the same! A BAGEL!!!! A BAGEL IS A BURGER BUT WITH A BIT CUT OUT FROM THE MIDDLE! WHY CAN'T THERE BE A BAGEL WITHOUT A HOLE! WHY!?!

...



I don't know how we got here. All I know is I've just woken up in front of the computer with a pair of underwear on my head, writing scribbled all over my stomach in what appears to be bodily fluid of some sort, a strange foam oozing out of my mouth and all this stuff written on the screen...
Should I delete it and start over? Well, according to a sentence or two earlier in this very post:
No. Because, as in life, you can't take back what you done, innit!? It's too late!

Ah, stick a fork in me, I'm done. Go play something. Backgammon? Oh, and comment.

Adonis: Salt use will be reduced by 25%

Less salt will be used to grit our roads since our salt levels are being depleted. 25% less. This is what the ice has done to some people in the country.

Paignton Ice Skating for Cars ( Bolero Remix ) @ Yahoo! Video

Mr Fiesta Tastic!!!!
Posted the link for my blog on a website recently. Interestingly, this is how he sold it:

Sorry if this tortures you but here we have an critical analysis of the above lol:

...

Sorry if this tortures you!? SORRY- If-This-TORTURES-YOU?!?!

And to add injury to this outright insult....
He posted it on a forum where the majority of visitors are from The Arab peninsula. Suddenly I've got visitors from The Axis Of Evil!!!!! OOOOOoooOOOOOoooOOOOOooooo!

Now, if I say any of the words: BOMB, EXPLOSION, Infidel, Islam, Jihad, Suicide... Then I'm gonna be flagged by the authorities. (Google)

And you KNOW how much I love to use all of those words...


*eViLs*

I'm joking, you fun loving Arabs, I don't think you're of the axis of Evil, I absolutely love you all. From the bottom of my heart, right up to the top. But Egypt, Stop those blockades on Palestine.

Go have some more fun now. I dunno, go play with a thermometer.

I got LOVE for you, if you were born in the...

Okay, now I know I've gone on a bit about how crappy Facebook groups are and it may be getting a little boring now, but this one...

THIS one just made me laugh out loud. That's right, not even the abbreviated lol, but the full on laugh out loud..

Let me see if I can do it justice:

Born in the 9Os? Thats when the REAL legends were born!

... Good God, they're being serious.
No offense to people born in the nineties, hell I got into a relationship with someone born in the nineties and it was a bloody good one (I only JUST realized the 90's thing though...) and I mean, I'm only JUST teetering on the edge of being born in the nineties myself by 11 months but seriously!?

I love the sense of reflection and nostalgia the group name depicts. Way back in the nineties?
And legends?! LEGENDS?! You can't have developed a LEGEND in the 7 short years you've been developing testosterone for! WTF?!

This is just INSANE! And that kids would actually JOIN this group? Let me put it into context. The date today is 7/01/2010. Which means the OLDEST person who was born in the 90's would be 7 days into their 20th birthday...
All the rest would be upwards from 10. So if you have legendarily classed yourself in the SAME group as a 10 year old....
ALSO!! "REAL" Legends. LOL! Fuck Martin Luther King, Fuck Abraham Lincoln, Fuck Rosa Parks, Fuck Sir Bobby Charlton, Fuck Albert Einstein! What did THEY do?! Work to battle against racism, abolish slavery, make a stand against Racism, bring home the world cup or develop the theory of relativity, respectively!? HAH! I got G.C.S.E's and Facebook Mofo!

I genuinely fear that this group was developed by a pedophile.

Big love.

Whooo! Watched Madagascar!

Gah! Just had to BEG and PLEAD with my mum to let me take control of the telly to watch Madagascar in the place of her Asian telly stuff.

Woohoo! I watched it!

"I can't take your CROWN..."

"No, no, take it, I got a new one! With a gecko on it!"

I just love those Penguins!

Was a good film.

Ah now I need a wee!

I'm just watching an advert for the new series of Being Human! Woooh! Sunday at...
Oh shit, I was too busy typing to see what time it's on... :(
Ok, bladders at it's breaking point. Toodles!

WAIT! WTF is it with the lack of comments?! Grrrr.

Mad a gas car.

Gah! Madagascar was on today. Well it was on twice before today I only stumbled across it by chance while the family was watching telly and my niece pressed a button on the remote by accident. Unfortunately I wasn't able to watch the film because my mum was in a hurry to put back her... Asian telly. A program about some sort of match making on the phone with people asking questions like:

Are you a fat guy?
Are you poor?
What cast are you from? ....... :|
Do you want a village girl or a city girl? (SERIOUSLY!!)
Do you mind if she speaks the same language as you? .............. :|
How IMMEDIATELY do you want this to go down? .............. :|

I don't know why. Please, it confuses my brain.

So yeah, I missed Madagascar, BUT! It's on again on Wednesday. I've been told it's good and that I shouldn't watch it online so I'm holding back the urge to stream it. I've set a reminder for it on the telly just now. Should be all set to watch it.

Unless there's an Asian matchmaking (It's ACTUALLY called Matches with a symbol of matchsticks...) program on at the same time...
Gross.

Ranting.

Not much is a gwanin at the moment. Sorry for the lack of posts. Can you say the same for the LACK OF COMMENTS?!

What is there to talk about once you've done a WHOLE fifty something posts?! Sheesh...

I've been reading some funny groups people are joining on Facebook recently.

I'll share them with you since you're here:

SOMEONE became a fan of: year 7 and 8 girls drinking and dressing like they're 21.

I think, upon further investigation, that was actually a group meant to deter girls from such behavior but... I don't think that quite worked....

SOMEONE ELSE became a fan of: I never realized that after Monday and Tuesday, the calendar says W.T.F

... Chronically confused and easily excitable? I think so.

Groups in Facebook are designed so that people who join a group for a common cause have the opportunity to discuss the topic with one another. I dread to think of the calibre of conversation in those discussion boards...

"I still remember the first time it hit me....

A friend of mine joined this group and I was like.. W.T.F? No way. So I went to check. And sure enough the calendar said W.T.F. I was like... W.T.F..."

"Where were you the day you found out the day's spelled W.T.F?","Facebook"

"THE CALENDAR IS FULL OF SECRETS AND CODES!!!!!!

ALL THE DAYS OF THE WEEK END WITH THE SAME THREE LETTERS!!!!!"

But anyway, those pale in comparison to an answer a friend of mine gave to an interview question on Facebook.

"What would you say to Superman if you saw him?"

"Change your gay hairstyle"

...

Firstly, I'd never want to anger a guy who can shoot out fire from his eyes, fly faster than a speeding bullet, lift mountains and through them in space, blow ice cold air and only has a weakness of a substance which fell from outer space. Once. I'd probably just say, good job man, keep it up.

But I love the fact that he's picked out Superman's HAIRSTYLE to impose homosexuality on him. Looking PAST the skintight blue and yellow spandex. And the cape. No, no, it's the HAIR that's gay....

What an absolute muppet. Full points for effort though.

"When you just want to say who gives a SH!T to someone's status." Is another group I've stumbled across. The whole fact that they went to the EFFORT to join a group to demonstrate JUST how indifferent they feel about someone's status... Real nonchalant there...

But also because they wouldn't ACTUALLY say it to the person's face. Which brings me to another group!

"If you're gonna say shit about me say it to ma face like innit blad" Ok, it's not written like that but something similar. Which in itself is joined by people who have had shit spoken about them. So they join this group to point out to certain people that they shouldn't make snidey comments. In the form of a snidey comment. Only, you let the group title make the comment for you!!

Do people know how to communicate anymore?! Okay, maybe I'm taking it a bit too far. But like... Write a god damn status, allow yourself to articulate how you feel rather than just joining with the masses in order to feel more validated in your actions... Or for whatever reason you join whatever groups you join.

I'm here to tell you that you CAN say how you feel. You don't need to trawl through millions of groups to see on that reverberates along with you. You can just write... I like cheese on toast. You don't need to join a group to affirm that. Just type it. Yumm, cheese on toast. Do it in your own words. Cheese on toast = yumm if you're that way inclined or whatever...

I've stretched this cheese on toast example a little too far now, but you get my drift. Try writing a status that demonstrates your capacity to think for yourself. As an individual. We've seen that you have a common hatred for the fat guy in the go compare adverts with 17,000 people but why no elaborate as to why that is in your OWN GOD DAMN FUCKING WORDS?!

Gah! But that's not to you people, you're all wonderful. Refer this blog to people who join too many groups so they can see what complete prats they are. Seriously, I need to comments, I'm willing to stoop to hate mail to get my fix...

Here's another I've just come across...

"I made a BIG mistake in 2009." Why join a group like that?! Just say what it was! Or if it's too lame to say, then why join the group in the first place? Why not just say in your status, "Ufff... this year was alright except for that one shitty mistake I made. You won't believe what it was... I got herpes. Damn..."

More to talk about...

I didn't though. That was simply an example...

What's more to talk about? Dunno. Nothing really. Go watch some iPlayer. (Being Human).

Or do something constructive. Learn a language. Comment on this blog. Do some cooking. Study. Comment. Read something.

People through dialogue get a common understanding of what terms mean. They do not develop common languages. Functioning interaction creates success.

Why is it that the term terrorist is used to classify individuals or groups of people who commit acts of

Analytical something.

We're going to work together today, to uncover an untruth that is circulating amongst the populous through mainstream social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace and Hi5.

HAH! Who am I kidding?! Hi5, mainstream!? I deactivated my Hi5 account a few weeks back, I only realized I still had one because my junk box was constantly being filled with emails about how tiff_4_U wanted to tell me how much she wanted to eat me all up with a cherry on top. But yeah, Hi5... CrAzY days. Hi5, I think may have originated "the wall" but back in my day of using it, it was literally written on ONCE by each of the people you knew who would give you a shout out. Here is an example of one of my shouts, I don't still have it so it's not word for word:

Usman's Wall:

Random friend: Rah! U manz dnt no bwt Uzi blud, he is jus bre jkes nd dat. Puls nuf gash and iz too sikk at footie like init bruv? Peace out Uz, u no I gt ur bak fr any beef ting lyk. Sfe.

I did a little sick in my mouth, TWICE while writing that. But yeah, that's another untruth. Firstly, yes, a lot of people didn't know about me fair enough. And I was quite fun to be around. But pulls enough gash!? This is just baseless flattery.

Which I quite like!!

I wasn't too sick at footie, I was ALright... Ok, I WAS quite good... Ahh, good times... And had my back in any beef?! NO! That's not true! I got into plenty of beef things and not a single time did any one GET my back, it was WRONG! You circle the people fighting, you encourage them, but you never help out. That's what always happened.

Wankers.

Anyway, I went off on one. Back to the thing we;re going to WORK TOGETHER on to decipher.

Here's something that's been floating about for years now:

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. If you can raed tihs, psot it to yuor wlal. Olny 55% of plepoe can

CrAzY stuff right? Well done, you're all part of that 55% of people, but BEFORE YOU GO RUNNING OFF TO POST IT TO YOUR WALLS!!! First consider the TRUTH behind the cleverly crafted, poorly written sentence...

RESEARCH at CAMBRIDGE University?! So what, a bunch of Phd students decided if it would be fun to jumble words up a bit and see if people could read them? What would the title of the paper be?

"Cna Yuo Raed Tihs?"

"Pborably."

And where it says: the first and last letter need to be in the last place and nothing else matters, what about words like utibnnaaalte? HUH!? That was "unattainable" right there. I'm sure 55% of you got it.

Which neatly brings me on to my final point. 55% of people?! EVERYONE can read that! And How comes, in the beginning of the paragraph it's written in a way that suggests EVERYONE can read it, and the ending contradicts that? It seems to me to just be a way to make you feel like a special one of the 55% of people that can read that sentence when in fact, you're in the 99% of people who aren't mentally deficient!!! Though you probably ARE the 75% of people gullible enough to fall for the crap that is written and post it on your wall.

I refuse to be counted in that statistic...

I posted it here for purely academic purposes...

Anyway, Have a happy new year!

Last year may have been wonderful or terrible for some of you, or a mixture of both. It may be that the wonderful things that happened to you could have been warped into some of the terrible things. You may have made mistakes, done stuff you regretted and want to turn back time to re-do stuff.

Well you can't. See this as an opportunity to wipe the slates clean and start fresh. Change for the better. Look to the positives and keep visiting this blog! Spread the word! Hurrah!

And good luck to everyone doing Exams in January, remember, this blog is NOT a distraction from revision. It's refreshment...