Thursday, 28 January 2010

iPad, the multi-touch tampon.

I'm a Microsoft fan-boy turned dark side of the force with my unnatural fixation with this new iPad.

The funnier guys in the net have commented that it does indeed sound like a trendy tampon. Which makes me laugh every time. Yes, I laughed as I wrote that. My brother in law insisted it should be called the iSlam.
But also funny. Because he reads this blog. But it's impressive that technology has advanced so much. I could go into a whole introduction to ease you into the topic I'm about to delve into. You know what, I will...

Technology has improved SO much, less than a decade ago, the best way to take music on the go with you was to take a CD player about. CD's, that spin around, while you jog, they'd get damaged, they had a TINY capacity, they had awful controls. They were MASSIVE. And a few years on, you can have a music player that plays music videos off the internet, small enough to fit in your shoe, it can track your heartbeat and monitor your workout for you. And that's only one example. The ability to discard a mouse, use multi-touch screens, motion sensor technology deployed in the Wii or even the upcoming add on for the X Box 360 (youtube project Natal for a cool video...) The fact of the matter is, Technology advances in the computing world actually dictate the way the human race is evolving socially. Be it in a positive or negative way.
The way we shop, the way we watch the news, the way we fall in LOVE, the way we study, the way we react to missing a television show, the way we condemn or condone stealing- whether you like it or not, illegal downloading is stealing. Our morals are being shaped in the way people revolutionize the way we interact with a personal computer.
It's true, computers have advanced immensely, and predictably in accordance with Moore's Law, which you can look up yourself, and some would argue that, by comparison, other fields of technology have stood at a relative standstill. Look at hoovers, we still have to walk around with them. Kitchen appliances, lighting, the motor industry have pretty much stayed the same in form factor and the way we approach them/ interact with them. Yes, they work better, more efficiently, but there hasn't been the same boom of creativity in them as there has in computer technology. Perhaps it's because it would be like solving a problem that doesn't exist, perhaps though, there isn't the space for innovation in those industries as there is in the computing world?

Bill Gates once said of GM, the American car manufacturer:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

Which is a little bit biased, surely he didn't need to pick out GM in particular. Perhaps he'd had some shtick with his chevy some time down the road...

Though it seems ridiculous that a car would be anything like that, consider the size and cost of computers and their capabilities around 40 years ago and see how they've developed.

Anyway, GM came up with a much wittier, much more entertaining come back to Bill Gates' slur:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive- but would run on only 5% of the roads. ( This one made me laugh )

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Ah Bill Gates you silly fool. You rich, rich, silly fool.

Is MSNBC Really a conglomeration of both Microsoft and NBC? No.. Really?! Weird. No wonder they gave such a lackluster review of the iPad. Seriously, it sounds like a tampon with an apple symbol on it.

Anyway, that's all for me folks and I promise, not much more talk about the iPad from now on. It's out of my system until it hits shelves in a few months.

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