Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Kiwis! Shalwaar Kameez! Hamburgers! Ah I <3 NY!!! Martial Arts! FIDDY CENT!

Just to give you foo's an idea of the MAGNIFICENT success of this humble.. HUMBLE little blog. I would like to commend you, my fellow from India for staying on this blog for a WHOLE 2 hours 17 minutes and 2 seconds. Really, that's a fantastic achievement. Whether you had the page open in a tab and forgot to close it, whether you were expecting it to be porn and your internet is literally THAT slow that you had to wait for the page to load, whether, I don't know you were trying REALLY hard to make sense of what I was writing(?) I don't know, there's not any other explination why you'd be on this thing right?

Oh wait.. I know, it MIGHT have something to do with the fact that this blog is the flipping bee's knees! The dog's bollocks and just... a REALLY - GOOD - read!

Although in all honesty, our cultural references must be so unfamiliar to one another, I really can't see what you would have been understanding from what I'd written. Do they have heartbreak in India? OF COURSE NOT! You guys always pull away just before you get to the kissing. How could you have built any REAL emotion without actually getting physical.

That's RIGHT, you heard me. ALL relationships have to have a level of intimacy before they can be considered SERIOUS. Which is why when deciding who my best mate was....
Well.. let's just say, we're REALLLY close now.

Anyway, I feel like I should make this more of a Global thing to make others from around the world find this more relatable to those from different communities.

So.. Coke huh? McDonald's? Good stuff.
Ok so that's most of the world. And umm... Bloody those nuclear weapons are fun right? There's north Korea. Though they probably have McDonald's and Coke too. FINE! I'll try harder.
(Get's some of today's news....)


While relations between Britain and China have been somewhat turbulent of late, due somewhat to the lack of results of the Copenhagen summit no doubt, the recent news of the execution of Briton Akmal Shaik have sparked controversy across the nation. I'm sure you've all read a fair deal or come across the news in some way or another, I know I've even blogged about it a few days ago... And as such I won't go into details, however, it seems quite foul that a judicial system would disregard a persons right for clemency on the grounds of mental illness because "He didn't provide the evidence of his own mental illness". This is just insane. I'd say it's fair to assume that a FEW mental people might not know they're mental... So providing evidence might come as a little bit of a problem...

Anyway, what's more, it's reported (by the guardian) that it's likely that in the courts, he wouldn't have even been provided with a translator to understand what was being said.
Furthermore, the fact that he wasn't told he would be given the death penalty until a day before it was due to be dealt?!

And moving from one communist country over to a past communist country with whom British relations are far from good, Russia, is planning to send a shuttle into space to pulverise a meteorite that is heading for Earth. Well, not ALL of Russia, I'm sure it's just a select number of pretty clever Russians. In lab coats.
Well done you. Focus your energy on positive things other than killing people. Particularly mentally ill people.

That said, you did refuse to extradite the dude who was suspected of assassinating Litveyenko didn't you? Ahhh, don't think we forgot that! Cheeky buggers.

AND RUSSIA! Get the FUCK out of Chechnya you absolute WANKERS!
AND CHINA! Get the FUCK out of Tibet you absolute WANKERS!
Hi, my American readers... =D
I won't say anything daft like
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF AFGHANISTAN, IRAQ, Israel's Anus (though admittedly it's just your nose in there), AND STAY OUT YOU ABSOLUTE WANKERS!!
because I'm still trying to get you guys to spend more than 2 seconds on my blog.

Though if you got to this point, I've already achieved that. So yeah. Get the fuck out.

As I have said, so shall it be.

I can just imagine American, Chinese and Russian readers saying.. Er, no?

And how do I come back to that?!

But really, what good is a British person pointing fingers at other's when in fact we're at war with countries too. And our politicians are being Bribed/ Coerced by wealthy individuals in order that they can have some influence in the way policy is made and such things.

But then, how much longer is Britain going to remain where it is? It's already losing it's standing in the world's most affluent countries, in fact it's the ONLY remaining 1st world country to not drawn itself out of recession. It's political power has been reduced to nothing, partly based to it's blindly following whatever America has opted for, particularly with regards to the wars in the middle east. Which ties in to the fact that it's economy is being held in place by foreign powers (many Chinese) and as such, China can get away with sticking it's middle finger up at Britain through a) the Copenhagen climate summit, b) Executing British citizens.
And do so without flinching because it knows that Britain requires it's bilateral relations with China more than it does itself.

Ever notice how everything in the WORLD is made in China?

I'm gonna stop. Gives you the chance to read this tonight, gives me the chance to watch the big fat quiz. Of LAST year.

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