Friday, 12 February 2010

Don't tarnish your iPad by using it as a tampon. Or to read the Sun.

In fact use it as a tampon before you read the Sun on it...

The Sun.

Vile, venomous, repugnant, unintelligent and altogether, just unpleasant. I'm talking about the newspaper, if you were confusing it with the star. And if you were assuming I meant "son"... Well then you probably haven't gotten this far into the article due to the relatively large words that succeeded "The Sun". You are, most likely, a subscriber to The Sun Newspaper in fact...

You see, the Sun is... How can I put this...

Alright, you see the Sun... IT is to Journalism what Kanye West is to.... Celebrity. What it produces is fantastical, it's wonderful with its words, albeit that the words are used to incite hatred in antipathy among the portion of the populace that is stupid enough to subscribe to it's literature. And while Kanye's (we ARE on first name basis, me and him...) lyrics may not incite such animosity amongst his followers, his lyrics ARE pretty Flamboyant:

How he move in a room full of no's?
How he stay faithful in a room full of hoes?
Must be the Pharaohs, he in tune with his soul
So when he buried in a tomb full of gold.
Treasure, what's your pleasure?
Life is a, UH, dependin' how you dress her.

Not much of that made much sense to me but he SOUNDED very enthusiastic while he said it so I'm sure it's important to him. Which is what a lot of the Sun's stuff is. Total crap that's written with such conviction that... well people start thinking stupid thoughts.

I'm sorry to liken Kanye with the Sun, particularly since MOST of his lyrics are actually VERY positive considering the genre he's in.
But my point is... he represents the Sun perfectly in the sense that he's had to make like a gazillion retractions:

George Bush hates black people/ Beyonce deserved this award to name but two of his outlandish (though both quite valid) opinions.

I suppose Kanye should take a look at some of his lyrics and reflect some:

The DRAMA, people suing me.
I'm on TV, talking like it's just you and me.


Don't ever fix your lips like collagen,
And then say something where you gonna end up appologin'

Old folks talking about back in my day....
But homie this is MY day...

I LOVE that line. Those Two lines. So funny the way he says it!!!

I just got invited to join a group by a friend of mine on Facebook called: We're giving away free Apple iPads. And though the prospect of me getting a free iPad makes me jizz a little in my pants, I'm no fool. And the number of people who I've seen joining this page... Honestly. And here's some of the fantastic stuff they've done to try and prove that this is a real thing.

1) They've faked some testimonies.

They made a list of people who have commented and said, a bunch of stuff to make them seem happy, like OMG, the day is so wonderful, I'm getting an iPad! Thanks man!! So cool! Wow!. Here is the IMAGE of stuff people have "posted":

RIGHT off the bat: "Wow, this really works". They fell at the first hurdle really didn't they? How do you suppose old Deborah Clemmons knows that this works without, you know, getting an iPad. Especially since the iPad won't be available for another... month and a bit..?

2) As seen on...:

To validate their claim, they have insisted that this give away is affiliated with some "Real" companies. Unfortunately they've made a rookie mistake here too:

So... Microsoft are giving away iPads huh?

3)Underestimating their success.

In the info section, it says they're looking for 10,000 people to join the group and test iPads. It's clear they were assuming this was a big number since they go on to say... So feel free to invite your friends.

Dudes... the facebook page "2010, the year I became bored of snow"- that's right a facebook page that people join to show indifference- has garnered 209,830 fans in what can only be, at MOST, 2 months and a bit.
"Checking my headphones for the L & R" has over a hundred thousand members for flips sake!
So ten thousand slots huh? Damn, you're already at 12k.... What a shame, I was THIS close to joining..!

Do I have anything else to say?

No, I think that's it for today... Five a day, remember- fruits and veg. Chips do NOT count!!

Back to Bespin Streets I go to fight the evil sith in Star Wars. This game is taking over my life... o_O


  1. iPad = over-rated only because the people who made the iPod made it.

    ARCHOS 5 FTW!!!

  2. Hmmm... Archos five... If I wanted an over sized mp4 player...

    I'd still not get the Archos.

    For all it's functionality and it's ability to play all sorts of files... It still ain't no iPod touch. No millions of apps available to download, no iPhone OS to run. Sorry, no vote from me.

  3. What's the point of having a million and one apps if you can't run just two of them at the same time?

  4. Because you don't NEED to!
    Never in my use of my iPod touch have I thought... Oh man, I wish my iPod could do X in the background...

    Never needed to multi-task on the device.