Wednesday, 24 February 2010


I had a wicked night tonight and I want to tell you ALL about it but first I have a bone to pick with both Warburton, that's the  bread making company and my sister who purchased their product. After coming back home from aforementioned night out, I came home to dinner. There wasn't any roti fortunately, so I got to have bread. We only had bread, however, that was the size of a fucking... playing card! It was ridiculous {A 10 letter word I figured out from my crossword yesterday to solve: 9 across: Absurd (10) }they were absolutely TINY.

I don't know how many of you readers are from what backgrounds and cultures, but traditionally, Asian food such as roti is eaten with the hands, without any cutlery. And as my bread was my substitute for the roti, I had to try to rip off bite sized portions to fold food into. Which is hard when the whole slice of bread is hardly bite-sized in itself!!

So disgruntled was I that I decided to take a photograph of a slice to show you just how small it was. Though I had nothing to compare it with to show how small it was so I took it next to my face. And I took the photo on my phone which meant I'd have to download the software to make my computer compatible with my phone, install it, run it, find my phone cable, drag and drop the photos to my desktop, upload the photos to my blog AND explain the whole process so you knew JUST how much trouble I went through to take the photo- AND!!!!!

It's not even THAT big a deal, because I'm SO pissed off at the size of this bread that if there was no camera, I would have drawn you a picture to scale, brought up my scanner from the cellar, found it's cable from the cellar, downloaded it's software, installed it, scanned the photo, reduced the image size, uploaded the image and THEN written about all of THAT.

Fortunately, I have a camera though. Ok, let's pop this picture up...

Utterly... Outrageous. And no comments on the floral designed sheets. Or the face I'm pulling. ONLY comment on the toast and it's size. NOT anything that could hurt my feelings. You evil people.
I'm still actually waiting for the phone software to install, I haven't put the picture up, so chronologically speaking, I'm just typing about nothing at the moment. But by the time you're reading this, which, I suppose is... Now... Not the CURRENT now, but the... Now as you see it, not as I see it... AHHHHH I'm caught in a time loop hole!!!!!! Where am I!?!?

Ok, it's up now, everything is making more sense now. Let's never get metaphysical again and try to encroach onto the subject of time and space continuity...

So tonight me and a couple of mates went to a comedy shindig where a bunch of comedians let rip at Sharon Osbourne. It was really fun. Sharon Osbourne was there too and she was laughing along with all the mean comments so was all kosher, so to speak. Or halal. Though, no... probably not halal, by any stretch...
So the comedians included Jimmy Carr, Alan Carr, Jack Dee, Leigh Francis, Sharon Osbourne, and other's whose names I can't really remember.

They were all good.

Strange things that happened after the show: We met the comedians, got to take our photos with them, which was nice. Also, a mate of mine approached Chinco; oh yeah, he was there, singing and all... And Chinco greated him with: Asalaamualaykum...!
Which was strange.
But hey, cool.

What's NOT cool is that Abdul, who I've always been quite close with made THIS statement after the show, on our way home...

That Sharon Osbourne woman is Chung.


Now admittedly, he hasn't got the best vision in the world, we WERE some distance from the stage and she had recently had some plastic work done to her face. NONE THE LESS.... He was wearing his glasses, we weren't that FAR from the stage either and the plastic work wasn't a miracle. Just in case he hasn't already gone to jack off at some of her pictures and come to this shocking discovery himself, I'd just like to give a glimpse of Sharon Osbourne here:

Abdul, you sick, sick pervert.

Oh yeah, I had those bullet points to talk about from last time didn't I? It's a little bit long though. I recommend that you watch Soul Eater. My sister's friend's brother recommended that I watch it yesterday and now I'm hooked like mad...

Enjoy that.

And also... What will be our group film to watch THIS week? What movie should I post up that some of you will enjoy?? I dunno. I heard stuff back from some of you who watched Oh Brother Where Art Thou. Almost all of the people who got back to me liked it. Maybe... Now this is just a SUGGESTION... But.. you know... POST your comments in the section DESIGNED for comments!!!! :O :O :O :O


Anyway, go use some antiperspirant, but make sure it's the stuff that's "black dress friendly". Isn't it annoying when you go into boots, buy antiperspirant and take it home, use it, only to find that it leaves white marks?
I wouldn't know, it hasn't happened to me, but I've witnessed it. Twice. By the SAME person. Buying the SAME antiperspirant, from the SAME Boots on two completely different occasions.
Anyway, go do that now, I'm going to bed.


  1. You're right; that picture is disgusting, the bread looks okay though.

    Bread and curry tastes awful.

    Sharon Osbourne.....comedian?!!


  2. Oh whatever. You suck.
    And bread and curry tastes better than chappatti and curry. So whatever again.
    And I'm not surprised you like the look of the bread.... You strange strange MAN who calls himself flower kid....